OMG OMG OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

online shopping!!!!!!!!! ive juz found a new love!

the clothes are sooo cheap and gorgeous omggggggggggggg

miss preppy

Agneselle

nelly joy

IM currently leading the most boring life thats ever been known to all walks of humanity

Im jobless and poor as a pauper

im havin insomnia evry night

BUT im designing my new room which ive grown less enthusiastic about of late

Dad wants it to be painted and ugly shade of brown

SO IM GONA Spice it up by PAinting ROSES ALLLL OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I love flowers mwahahhaa

he is v irritated by the idea

I CANT BELIEVE I WANTED TO FEED E CATS ON PROM DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in fact i was busy burning my butt off sitting on e sofa for hours watching some show about kings fighting

AND 4 TIMES I WAS ASKED TO LEAVE MY HOUSE FOR SOME PARTYING AT POST PROM OR WHATEVA

AND HERE'S E BEST PART:
i decided it was too late to go out

and at 12 midnight i was starting to regret it when pple smsing me were partying away merrily

ok 0_0

I am abit bored today

evryones gona hav fun at prom while i stone like nothing cos i chose to stay home or around the neighbourhoods to feed the cats

not like i havent done it during my study periods.. transiting from the library when it closes to a nearby macs and having my dinner at some void deck specially brought from home by my maid

basically there are a whole litter of cats around and i feed em my dinner. OKay.. only e fish... cos they arent very fond of rice or veggies


I love cats but i hate spiders!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok random


but i feel this sense of lightheadedness evrytime i do something charitable! not tht feeding cats or givin my pennies to beggars on e streets is anything too benevolent or self-sacrificial.. but at least it makes me happy :D


BYEEEEEEEEE BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I AM SO HUNGRY

Pix ive taken since my release

On the 22nd:
:











Yesterday: (okay we were too tired to pose anyway)

thats not me! i was e camera woman


MY GROCERIES!!!!

so gorgeousss right?!?! its from forever 21





Can i juz say that Ive abandoned DIva cos ive found a new love, CHOMEL!!!!!!!!! its e most gorgeous shop on e planet

OKay today im taking a break!

shopping is more tiring than u think it is.. ESPECIALLY WHEN SIS KEEPS TAKIN my FLATS away so ive been wearing one of my heels all day long (the comfiest one of all the others)

OMG! nx week will be a terribly busy week! my time slots are fully taken up

SO book me fast while stocks last.

joke.

SO today

was a stupid day

cos i almost died

in some stupid facial place called ATOS

not that i was about to be murdered or anything

but i seriously thought i could never get out of that place alive... NOT unless i bought their HUNDRED DOLLAR STUPID PRODUCTS that had not a single bit of teeny weeny beanny bit of effect ATT FRIGGIN ALLLLLLL

AND THAT STUPID LADY WONT LET ME GET OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

i was juz stuck there with those gleamy eyes staring UP AT ME (bcos im taller than her)

Effing shit!

what unscrupulous methods... wen they;d claimed that they're offering some stupid shit for free... its juz all a TRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so that ull enter their shop and then they can juz go on and on and on and on about their prods and not leave u alone

HELLO?! THEY'RE FORCING U TO BUY LIKE 90 DOLLAR PRODS

and likeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i had to work my brain even after my As have ended

like pretending that im calling my mom whose scolding me and commanding me to leave the place (when it was valerie on e other side of e phone tryina help)

yea and the lady was pretty unhappy.. i could tell but she was still tryina keep a straight face while smiling and saying, "haha i dont believe leh... if u reli want it u can just go against her and buy e package... plus ur alr 18 she cant control u"

WTFFFFFF

I felt like stuffin a sock in that lady's mouth

matilda was totally helpless... actually both of us were.. with those short aunties squirming around us going on and on about this and that

so when they finally stopped paying attention to me for like a split second... I RANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN OUT AS FAST AS I COULD

i was damnnnnnnnnn relieved

but oh shit matilda was still stuck in there

after a minute or so hiding behind a pillar far away.. she fnally eyed me and i signalled to her to run

And she told one of e ladies that she was going to discuss with me about the prods before deciding and came to me

DEN IT WENT CRAZY

once we got out of e shop... WE RANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN FOR our livESSSSSSSSS AND NOT STOPPING TILL WE WERE A MILLION MILES AWAY FROM THAT HELL HOLE

i was panting like crazyyyy

Thank god we got out of there omgggg

ERR GUYZ!!! UR PIX WILL BE UP AS SOON AS MY DAD STOPS HOGGING MY MAIN COMPUTER


HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA MY WORD VERIFICATION FOR THIS POST IS " ahwar'

pretty significant day

Awww

today .. for a startling moment.. i realized.. was e last time id be coming to mug at this place, the library.

This place brings.. alot of memories.. it wasn't just a place of tempting empty tables and chairs and quiet ambience.. it was a place where id spent one of e most wonderful times there.. the amazing new friends.. and awesome old ones too..the goal-settings.. where i defined what i want in future.. where i pushed myself relentlessly to the limit...(sometimes to the point of skipping my meals and gettin gastric)... where i sought comfort in times of depression (cos e place brings back so many wonderful memories).. and thank God for being there for me through and through

this whole experience has been a really long fantastic adventure... where the end to this arduous journey was the taking of my As

There were countless of times when i wanted to give up.. bcos of all e obstacles and stones that were hurled in my direction while i was treading this path. But somehow... there'd always be something at the back of head that keeps pushing me on.. a lil voice in my head to tell me to have faith. *whispers 'thank u'*

I may not do fantastically for this exam but im glad i chose to walk through the fire instead of cowering in fear and backing out like how id always contemplated doing. Haha im such a coward.

Today... Faith, a friend i met from e lib, passed me a little letter cos it was prolly one of our last times seeing each other..
(omg im feeling a lump in my throat now)
the letter was so gorgeous... i almost cried readin it.. shes been so wonderful.. id miss her so much.. id never forget those times we've had.. shes been one of e most amazing person ive ever met.

NOT FORGETTING ALL E AMAZING STUDY BUDDIES!!


its jsut two more days before it all ends!

HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i like to dramatise everything

There is a whole ton of things tht id love to do once i taste freedom on 26th nov 2007


1) cruise with wispy and mat


2) Hong kong disneyland with arch darling and friends


3) Shopping with a whole ton of pple whom ive pang sehed during my course of mugging


4) ANgelina and serrrr!!!


5) shop with Judokassss for e pressies and steamboat?!?!?!


6)as promised.. Movie marathon complemented with turkey and red wine at my house for a few groups of people


7) CT Darlingg!! we planned to run and stuff around ur house remember???


8) Go out with... *ahem*


9) PARTIESSS!!!!!!!!


10) trackkkkkiessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO LETS go CHANGI AND TAKE TONS OF PIX


11) Track bbq party


12) I MUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ CUTTTTTTTTTTT MY HAIRRRRRRRRRRRR


13) PLay with Leo!!!


14) go to e lib to read more interesting books instead of burying my head into notes


15) Drink under e stars with jo and chairman!


16) Stay overnighttttt


17) Hit the famous hawker stalls in Queenstown!


18) DESign my new roommmmmmmmmmmm


19) Paint it with my Loveesss


20) etc. etc. etc...

CHECK OUT MY EXTREMELY ARTISTIC PORTRAIT OF MR. LEE BOON PING

juz a lil conversation i had in e lib

me: the last time i ate this packet of gummies i farted every second of the day

chairman: why havent u flown to mars?

SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

omg i wana dieeeee

shitttttt

sum stranger juz passed me a strip of paper with his number on ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT


OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

this iss damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn freaky ok

he looks soooo emooooo

omggg and i go to e lib all e time theres no way i can avoid him i feel like dyinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

i will so not touch tht slip of paper omgggggggggg

this is damn scary ok!!!!!!!!!!!! I NV KNEW PPLE WOULD DO THIS IN E LIB!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG

NEW CRAZY MAN IN E LIBRARY

and he is different from the rest because he was screaming the word HEY repeatedly!!

HE SCREAMS oh dear

Someone is singing some old mandarin opera amidst the stillness and peace in Civics center library in Woodlands

and id really love to shush her but unfortunately i cant trace where e voice is from

and evryones juz sniggering away wonderin who e hell it is..

oh my god

It kills.. it ruins
at that point in time when i was on e brink of falling over.. I realized for a startling moment.. how dangerous it could really be.. and ive been livin with it for 18 years.
how it could ruin a perfectly normal human being so subtlely with such insidious force...
Its e mechanism that drives ones world.. without it.. your world fades away into nothingness.. empty darkness..
it doesnt change reality but it affects it.
And I dont wana lose control again..
but im afraid that im about to.. again...

i cant study at civics lib anymore cos there are too many distractions such as this cute, sexy, hot, tanned, and buff guy with an irresistible dimply smile
to make u soo distracted ud lose conc on evrything else

while waiting for e library gates to open...

With all that talk about plastic surgery.. ive decided to have one and hence ive travelled to korea immediately after e prelims and came back like this.

I think we've all learnt a lesson from here children.

sis and me (before e surgery)



Meet my husband, Keita


14 year old keita


the now keita (im clueless abt his age cos im such a failed wife u see)


ALL u bitches stop stealing him from me! hes mine im sorry to say

PRELIMS ARE OVERRRRRRR

but As hasnt

its pretty unfortunate cos... most of my darlings are still having their exams.. plus mom has graciously allowed only a one days grace of rest.

plus i still needa spend time with em hence i ended up spendin my weekends in e lib

i ended up sleeping there

i love e library... to the point that.. the library isnt juz a place to provide me with a place to study... its also an avenue to relieve stress...a place where u spend time with all ur mates.. who'll stick by u till death.. pple ill nvr forget for life... even if some of u babes dont go to e library as often like ys, siti, wisp, arch, and more (even if i don mention ur name here it doesnt mean tt i love u any less.. i do love u guyz alot neway..each and evryone of u) ...the lib still reminds me of u guyz somehow

Take away all my sadness
Fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles
Thats what u do

be touched! haha ok la i didnt compose that poem myself.. im listening to this reli gorgeous song "have i told you lately"

i juz wana say.. i reli do appreciate evry single one of u... its juz some things have been happening and i don wana burden any of u with my troubles... and its in all e lil things that u do.. even if u felt like u didnt do much.. but it still means so much to me u noe..all those times u guyz have been there for me when i was down.. the genuine care that i felt.. even if it were juz a mere sms or encouragement.. a decorated letter or postcard...its touched me alot..

id love to stay strong and work really hard...
for ppl who have genuinely cared for me and hope to see me do well.. for God..and for the ones that i love..

Im so thankful <3

Bein narcisstic in e lib with jo.. i shd put some of e face-warped pix up nx time they're hilarious

it was a mad dash to the end.

evryone was geared up at 10am.. ready in gergarisan positions

I recognized that little boy who was licking the closed gate, literally, as he alwayz does.
Its a form of destress i suppose?

the gate opened.

Pple crawled under the gates before it was fully opened

and den evrything happened in a whirl... pple were sprinting to their favourite hot spots

A lady had dropped one of a pair of her slippers and her bag while running but she left it there and pressed on.

Woah the library sure is an interesting place

OKay i think ill never run for my seat again

its too barbaric.

Latest happenings:

u juz cant believe it
i spilled coffeeeeeee in macs
it was e most embarassing thing the world will ever know
I juz wanted toooooo dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee righttttttttt there and then
but a cute guy got me a new cup of coffee and helped me dry my notes and stuff
so it wasnt such a bad thign afterall

I needa drink i needa drink


drink under the starsss... juz to destress

im still dying to get into psychology

i am still studying

i plucked my eyebrows and it felt like it took a century

i ate nasi lemak yesterday!!!!!

AN old man was staring with mouth gaping wide at sis and me for fulll 10 minutes in e bus bcos he thot he'd seen ghosts when we're very much alive... and if he doesnt know twins exist on planet earth

Maccccc juz smiled at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I broke my clip

I ate in e library
in fact i do it evrytime im there. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(but i nv get caught)

MY FILES ARE GONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I heard my NAME ON 98.70 FM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY NAILS ARE SOOOO LONGGGGG.. IVE LEARNT THE LIKES OF YEANG MING SHENG

LEE BOON PING has admitted that im smarter than him and that he is a piggy

Dad was aspiring to get the biggest monitor screen in the world.. hes got it now
I had difficulty finding the cursor


Dad also bought a new keyboard and the first thing i saw when i entered e house was him typing away merrily on an un-connected keyboard (he thot it was fun)

he cut his own hair and he was so proud of it cos he thinks its hip. (it looks like bart simpson's)

byE BYE

Oh man this is really really stressful

tons of stuff have happened... but.. ill tell u in my own time..

juz don feel too comfortable exposing things like that in public.

OMIGAWDD im starting to distance myself from this blog! QUELLE HORREUR

but ya.. i guess.. i hope itll never come back

YAY YAY im gonna pull through this year!! juz.. a lil bit more..

BYE BYE

okay im back to normal

I finally have a goal in life!!!!!!
Im so tired...So very tired..
im gona take up psychology and do social work.
i dun noe if i can pull thru this year
is tt cool?!
if only i hadnt been born..
bye i needa sleep
bcos i don deserve to be on planet earth
had a terribly long day
i needa be strong.. give me strength to move on
so v tired

Not all of e pressies are here cos i havent got em but I STILL LOVE EVRYTHING
No link but.. HAHAH !!!!! Ya its true i love evrthing! Even the treats.. and e wishes!

OMG!!!!!!!!

omg i loved all e pressies ok!

THANK U (not in order of preference)

T27!!!!!!!!! The hottest class on earth!!!

and JUDOKASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS XOXOXOOX -kiss kiss-

and jojo and chairman

and arabel darling

and wee, sz, celestine... dadada

and peipei babe

and Rui

and Arch darling

and algae

and yx, eelin, les, and algae

err i hope i havent missed anyone out.

YEAP!! and to all who wished me!!!!

Honestly.. thanks for rmbing my bday!!!

Bcos it reli means alottt ! Bcos im e sort whos like really bad at rmbin dates and im in awe at how good ur memories are!

or mayb im juz plain dumb.

HAHA my bday celebration was like national day... 3 days of holiday

on friday..

It was a combined outing...

my family + Arabel

lol it felt like she was our sister and we had so much fun eating at east coast! IM so glad we could celebrate our bdays together!!!!!!!! luv ya ys! XOXO

Sat.. went out with jojo and chairman!!
It was sooo hot!

and it was also e first time i stepped into a bar.

yea.. cos im so guai right??

but it was really borin cos i didnt even get high... i mean ive never really gotten high before and was rather curious...

so i drank "screaming orgasm" "sex on the beach" and "long island tea"

Plus screaming orgasm had hard liquor in it.

But its hot man! its like milky.. thts so sexy

On sunday... dadada.. i don really hav to go into detail do i?

yea so thank u to evryone of u who made this special!

Time to get on with Work. SIGH

Hello darlings

Pls do not get too excited juz yet...

cos excitement only brings disappoint

AND PLS THINK LOGICALLY!!!

how can sum1 like me pull a surprise on a whole grp of pple..

that is well.. reli surprising

WHen im alwayz the one gettin surprised or frightened by pple

bcos im so gullible

Read this for e ultimate experience of all time

well ive been rather bored of writing e way pple expect from blogs i might as well write like how i talk to myself and share 'me' to e world.

Bcos.. i reli do talk alot to myself.

Like to myself. AND sometimes i laugh at myself

for saying the most retarded things known to humanity to myself

Bcos my innermost is sooo retarded sometimes i hav to go like.. "HELLO?!!! OMGGGGG plsss juz stoppppp being funny! OMG u are seriously retarded!" juz to stop my innermost from spinning out of control

SO I SHD start talking to myself on my BLOG!!! Du think thats cool?!

well i think thats retarded but thats how i like it sooo FACE IT!! UR READIN A RETARDED BLOG!

well lets see...

FOR the life of me.. I still cant believe i slept-study once upon a 32 hours ago...
(if u tried workin ur math and came to a really awkward timing instead of e usual sleeping time of most human beings... Dont bother feeling puzzled... Id crapped up e number 32 cos i was too lazy to do my math calculation)

YEa i slept study.. if u reli wana noe.

Well u wouldnt cos yea...

I SLEPT STUDY!

well not really cos i wasnt only studying.. and sleeping.. i was singing too... in e wee hours of e morning at 4 am.

God help me.

So i was doin all three things at a go.

And hence i hav come to e greatest conclusion of all time

I am good at multi tasking... only when im sleeping.

Muji was scared stiff to death when she saw me getting out of bed... den turning on e lights, sittin on e chair, and picking up my chem wksht.

ONLY of course.. Light couldnt penetrate thru my closed eyelids so i guess...

i couldnt really study...

SO i ended up singing.

So yea...if one day u shd ever see ur wife humming to some tune while sitting up, facing a piece of chem worksheet... AND SLEEPING...

shes most prolly ME.

And u shd Thank God for being the luckiest person in e world.

And i dont mean it.

And i would JUZ LIKE TO ANNOUNCE TO THE WORLD AKA U PPLE OUT THERE WHO ARE PRYIN INTO MY INNERMOST RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT... RIGHT AT THIS VERY SECOND THAT...

Wispy urinates at 100dbs

random announcement.. but announcements are alwayz random dont u think??

Well if ur reading this.. uve juz spent 3 mins of ur life experiencing what it feels like reading my innermost...

God bless u

AND GOODNIGHT!

How the research section of woodlands civics library level 2, aka the place i study, turned into Mental Hospital number 2 remains a mystery to this day...something i may never solve to my dying day.

Juz last last week... a man was wanking in full view of evryone who was studying at the corner near e books.
Sis stoned and watched in intrigue for minutes before mumbling "is he doin what i think hes doin"
As if a switch had been installed within his being.. he suddenly turned into frantic mode and started arranging the tables and chairs before hopping away delightfully

Today.. a woman who looked alot like oprah winfrey in pyjamas stood in front of the section and exclaimed

"Ive got two hands
And i can hold two reference book
CAN U BELIEVE IT??!!"

what horrified me was how similar the way she said "CAN U BELIEVE IT??!!" to e way i say it.

Maybe that will be the future me... when i go berserk under all e stress... only ill look more like xu chun mei in pyjamas.

And a boy singing loudly away amidst the silence within the study corner... He had the hottest voice known to humaity...and i dont mean it. Unaware of how sexy his voice sounded.. he had to sing loudly away again just as we thot peace was finally ours to enjoy.

Well i guess i aint too sound myself cos i went into the toilet cubicle with two other hot girls, HX and SZ

To eat our KFC meals

yes in front of the toilet bowl if u may ask..

All thanks to the librarian who threatened to confiscate our stuff if we did not get back in 5 mins from our lunch break.

I guess my experience of studyin at level 2 of woodlands civics library has pretty much made me accustom to bein around mentally unsound individuals.
How sexy is that?!

not.

i think my new word now is sexy.

MY relationship with the word "HOT" has henceforth ended.

Oh my.. im juz bein cranky pls ignore me.

hello

Thank u darlings i feel.. much better now.. which is a good thing right!
even tho at certain intervals of the day it still gets to me.. but its alot less painful now

it is afterall... juz a game.. and i guess evryone makes mistakes...i juz wish i hadnt made it on e occasion when it mattered most.

whats more real and special are the times we've had... the outings..the times we've trained and encouraged one another.. the times we've cried, bled and sweat together..
I'll never forget u darling judoka, tough girls to my dying day! U guyz will alwayz remain close to my heart!

<3 <3 <3 <3

Today went off... at least less tormenting than ytd..
At least i could smile and forget about it at certain intervals of the day..

"Its over"
"Its not ur fault"
bla bla bla

Its easier said than done. when mates cry or go utterly depressed over losin in comps... id say the same thing and wondered why it hit em so hard... Now.. do i reli und how terrible it reli feels...

Id wake up and think about it.. sleep and dream about it.. i wana forget evrything... but it keeps haunting..

I wish i could forget what happened.. bcos its been tormenting me so much its terrible and i hate feeling this way
I dono if ill ever get over it.. I don think ive ever felt so horrid over a failure before...not even in track days.. not even in sec days as far as i can rmb.. apart from gettin my O results.

I wish it were juz a terrible nightmare... a nightmare im dyin to wake up from..

my heart feels so heavy its hard to even conc.. juz as i could finally get my mind onto something else as i was doin my hmwk in e lib...
a nanyang girl walked past...

Shit and it all came back... memories flooded back...

Its so exasperating to hav to pick myself up countless and countless of times after falling over and over again... juz as ive mustered enough strength to carry on walking... a stone comes hurdling in my direction.. again.. and again.. and again.

only this time.. its a reallly.. big.. heavy stone.

i guess... after all these... after all e probs.. after pickin myself up so many times... it wouldnt be too impossible to pick myself up again..it wont be hard.. ill b alright.

I will stay strong... im juz not too alright at e mo... but reli ill be fine.

Pls dont talk to me about this wen u see me alright?
e last thing i need is for someone to remind me abt what happened

ill reli be ok.. Ive reli got to pick myself up again...

I mean things have started to look up... surprisingly... mom didnt pick a quarrel with me after seein my terrible mid results... something ive been dreading..

it hurts soo much evrytime they accuse me of this and that when its not true.. and theres nothing i can do bcos they wont believe that i reli did study... I dread e family quarrels bcos it hurts so bad to be hav such a strained relationship with pple u love but wont trust u.

Ive alwayz wanted to do well... esp for mids... after what ms lim told my parents...ive been trying so hard... bcos im too emotionally drained and tired of my parents maligning me for bein e worst daughter in e world...

But yea... i guess mom could see tht.. ive been trying...trying to do well.. i wish she'd seen this earlier.. den i wouldnt hav felt so tortured all these while...

okay time to stop emo-ing

OKAY im gonna watch harry potter tmr!!
seein daniel radcliffe will perk me up!!!

Tmr's gona be a reli cool day!!!

AND IM reli tired anyway

SO IM GONNA go to bed and sleeep my ass off on my new found 10 day old PILLOWWWW

ITS been a gorgeous 10 night experience cos its reli fluffy and comfy

today.. is soo.. emotionally draining

i dono wad to say... juz cant bringmyself to face coach or anyone anymore.

i cant believe it.. i reli cant..

im so.. sorry.. i noe u guyz say its not my fault but if u were in my shoes.. ud prolly feel e same way too.

i juz cant believe it... the worst match tht id performed in had to be e most crucial one.

soo many failures... it feels like e day when i got my terrible O results.. it feels as tho ull nvr be able to smile again.. as if.. its all over...

juz like Os.. diz judo comp mattered so much to me.. and den..

i juz.. duno how to face coach or e seniors wen i go to trg anymore.. i reli dont.

i noe u guyz will think its not alright to talk this way... but if u were in my shoes.. ud feel e same way too.

I feel like shaving bald
maybe im juz becomin a lil too crazy
as crazy as psychotic britney spears who went to shave her head

thursday was roughly a last training.

And suddenly.. it juz hit me that.. once this is over..
ill hardly see my darling judokas or train with em again
i think im gonna miss that feeling of extreme exhaustion and fatigue.. and that feeling of pushing urself to the very limit...
im gonna miss throwing rachel
im gonna miss judo

and the best judoka team mates in the entire universe!!!!!!!!!

it was a pretty.. emotional day.. on thursday for me.. the day sir announced the team...i was walkin along with siti... and as we came to a sudden realization that we were not gona see e judokas as much once its over.. we both cried... and siti quickly changed the subject

i mean.. ive been longing for this day to come for a very long time.. for the day when ill step down.. so there;ll be no more grueling training and ill finally have more time for my studies... and yet.. now that the day has come.. im not exactly rejoicing.. its juz so.. saddening.

and i juz want u guyz to know that it was the greatest pleasure to hav been able to train with such a wonderful bunch of people.. I am soo greatly honoured to have trained with all of u.. u guyz are amazing beyond anything and i love u guyz so much xoxo i couldnt ask for more

Ill alwayz remember those memorable times ive had in judo.. so many ups and downs.. so many lessons ive learnt.. so much ive discovered about myself.. gg against the odds and that the impossible.. is reli well possible afterall... I love judo im gona miss it so much.

its our nats this wednesday! Finally..after torturing ourselves for 2 years for this day!
Jia you darlings!!! xoxo

I am a very sentimental person ..ahem..and hence this post

Tonight.. july 2nd, 2007, is a very special night..

as its the night i hav finally changed my pillow after 13 years.

cos it was too flat after 13 years of havin a heavy head rest upon it. Not that my heads that heavy cos its full of brain mass..

but still it is something worth commemorating.

Evryone! one minute of silence pls!

litterbugs are here to stay

its hard.. but uve gotta pick urself up and move along thru life anwyay.. i mean what choice do u have?

stay strong wont u

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

JOJO bought us a red adidas track suit!!!

oh my god i wana die!

weird

Weird things happen at civics center and allow me to reinforce this.. WEIRD things reli do happen at civics center.
Unfortunately it has to be the place i mug day and night at

And here i am.. alive and breathing. *checks pulses* Yes indeed my heart is still beating

Thank GOD ID MANAGED TO GET OUT ALIVE!! I never thot id see sunlight ever again

The stupid lock in the toilet wouldnt OPEN so i was stuck in there for 30 minutes wen peeing requires compromising only 30 seconds or maybe 29s of our lives.

I swear i thot the toilet bowl was gona be my death bed.

I was imagining sis's frantic menace and evryone else running helter skelter like lil mice all over civics to look for the lost lost missing ongshufen

I imagined posters of myself stuck on MRT stations' call-outs for missing people

my fingers are now bruised from trying to turn that lock open though

but no worries evryone cos i wont disappear from your lives just yet.. cos right now im shivering in the library once again

One day i shall strut into the library in winter apparels as a protest against turning the library into the 'north pole' of Singapore.

And to stand up for the poor polar bears in the arctic suffering from the effects of global warming as they tire themselves out swimming cos theres no more ice for them to rest on thanks to more CFC emission coming out from civics center's woodland's regional library

My time spent mugging has endowed me with the knowledge that there are indeed many interesting individuals out there manifesting planet Earth.

Yesterday there were three man who arent exactly in their right minds in the library at the SAME section where i was studying. I mean i can even recognise them cos the library is now like my second home. U can tell that they aint exactly sound cos they keep talking in the library to themselves.

Like this man who keeps cursing and swearing in cantonese

Or this old man who walked up to me and asked "do you want wisdowm"

Or this regular visitor i see evryday walkin arnd and shakin his head and laughin to himself

or screaming kids that screech at evrything and i mean evrything

Or some kids who are standing at attention, singing majulah singapura while facing me right now as im typing. Im at macs. I guess its cos im wearing a red and white shirt. I guess they mistook me for a singapore flag

HAHA im so lazy i juz copied e whole chunk of picture url from christy's blog.

"sssehhhh"

my new moan.. to let out my fustration during training. Like when u needa summon soo much energy its seriously killing ur lungs... A good loud moan will help. Ive learnt that through judo.
the most unique of which belongs to jenny in which both rachel and I love to crack at.. it goes like "WASSUP"

IM serious it helps!

let me give u a brief summary on e effects of judo training camp

1) We couldnt sleep at night cos our body was too accustomed to the strenuous and active training of training from MORNING TILL NIGHT only stoping to rest durin meal times. We ended up having spasms while dreaming of a judo rip or throw.
2) OUr hands and feets were wrapped in rolls of plasters and tapes
3) we developed polka dotted (blue blacks) skins
4) it was a chore to sit;
5) it was a chore to get up from sitting position;
6) it was a chore to laugh.. yea so i ended up screaming instead of laughing when a joke comes along... due to horrendous muscle aches. basically.. it was a chore to move.
7) it was a chore to sit on e hard floor cos our backs were filled with bruises
8) the bathroom was filled with cries of pain and screams due to the wetting of painful abrasions
9) my dear partner, rachel, trained so hard till she had hyperventilation
10) Ive created a new moan to burst out more energy and it came naturally!
11) Bleeding fingers
12) swollen knee and hips
13) pain at every part of the body
14) Much Adrenaline wasted while we worry about what we'd hav to go thru in e next upcoming trainings during breaks.
15) Tears of fustration and fatigue shedded while we trained our asses off cos the feeling of extreme fatigue was terrible
16) Urge to pluck Jason's head off and stuffing it in the oven grew stronger

ALL IN ALL
It was e worst camp ive ever gone to. Judo camp=torture camp
The other terrible one was the June judo camp but i think this is slightly worse than that.

BUT GUESS WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE've SURVIVED JUDO CAMP AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all that torture.. was worth it. =)


To bleeding, sweating, fainting, pain, breaking bones, bruising, exhaustion, dadada
JUDO ROCKS!!!

To my dearest darling judokas.. it was a pleasure to be able to go through this hardship with u darlings as a team. We've made it!!!! to saturday night!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!
JOY TO THE WORLD

u should see evryone's glowing face wen e last trainin ended.

I love JUDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Okay im gonna die! 3 days of work to catch up on IM seriously dying! and more trainings comin up. Gosh i don think i can sleep at night anymore.

I seriously think im gonna fail Mid years.

say ur last goodbyes to me cos im off to judo aka torture camp

gosh cant wait for e exams to be over.. seriously screwing my life!

i hate school i reli do

BYE BYE

hello hello hello

im gettin a lil cranky but its ok since im alwayz cranky all e time

Gosh.. i reli cant bring myself to concentrate Oh gosh!

i seriously need some inspirational figure to study with me!!! SUPER INSPIRATIONAL LIKE PROLLY E SMARTEST PERSON IN SINGAPORE WHOS TAKIN HIS/HER AS too.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

these few days has been awesome... at least im gettin a wee bit of my life back apart from all that mugging.
and ive got myself to walk on the right path.

There was e CJ drama play night.. and it was hot. I SWEar Evryone was not themselves it was CHAOS!
MADNESS!
more CHAOS
and MORE madness... im sorry but i hav a v limited space in e vocab section of my brain.

Siti was awesome cos she Miaoed.
Sondra was awesome too cos she zaogenged
Martina was awesome too cos she had lightings draped over her.

haha nahh juz kiddin.. U guyz were aweome cos u guys were hot seriously.
i mean it was e first time i saw em act and i was sooo totally impressed.

went to meet e usual NUTZY NS guyz again... at like 11pm!
they are as cranky as ever! but i had to leave immediately cos i didnt wana walk 50 km home in 6 inch high wedges when all e bus services decide to abandon me.

BUT clement was sooo ncie!!!!!! insisted that i shd take a cab home and paid for it!!! I almost died from gratefulness! SO nice pls!

Sherman being as retarded as ever. HAHAHHAA

ANd omg u wouldnt believe what happened durin judo training

Punishments!!!!!!!!! cos some guys decided to act cute and posed as F4s. aka flower 4s. as rachel and i put it by not wanting to spar... causing the whole team to suffer !

gosh im dreadin judo camp. Its gonna be more like torture camp!
Pls dont miss me too much shd anything untowards happen.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

My shoulders are officially... WEIRD

both of em.. so much so tht its becomin a chore unhookin ahem.. when ive gotta reach behind my back.

MY thighs are as hard as my marble floor... tho not as shiny cos they're not as smooth.

IM like aching ALLL OVERRRR thanks to sat's trg.

AND if u havent heard.. Ive CUT MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ripley's believe it or not.

To all tht ive moaned like moaning myrtle to... its alright.. I think i love it now!!!!

MWAHAHA

BTW!!!!! Diva's 50% off SALE IS A TO DIE FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I bot this reli cute black clip with a bow and a pair of hot dangling earrings. They are soooooooooooooo cooL!!!!!!!! as cool as the ice in my refrigerator. Ive fallen head over heels in love with SALES! LIKE Deeply!!!!

I reli love diva i reli reli reli do! Its e hottest shop thts ever known to humanity!!! Like omg! i mean it!!!!!!!!! but why are their necklaces soooo expensive :(:(:(

IF U WANA GET ME ANY PRESSIE!!!!!!!!!!! GET IT FROM DIVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok tht was soo subtle

Jojo's stayin over tonight! WOots (new word ive learnt from MS)!!!

Shit id better study now!
I need muggers to inspire me to study man!

IM gettin lazier to blog day by day cos this blog doesnt alwayz represent what i reli feel about things.. keep havin to put on a farcade about how im so cheery about evrything cos i don reli fancy pple worryin for me.

Well.. cheers to fainting and bleeding on the dojo.

I did 10 3 min bouts... first time im doin it.. and it had to be on e day i was sick.

And well i fainted. When i got a hold of myself or when i was more sobre after evrything.. all the pain started to surface...
NEW bruises, injuries, painful bleeding abrasions.. stupid ol' shoulder injury.

Thanks to judo.. My legs and hands are gettin interesting patterns.. Polka dots!

JUdo ROCKS!

Econs exam tmr and im reli not lookin forward to it.

if i screw this exam up... itll most prolly be reli e end of me... even tho it may juz be a mid year.. but theres juz so many things u dont know..

SO many things im extremely tired of.. and i dono if ill hav e strength to deal with all these inevitable upcoming obstacles...

if i screw evrything and my life this year... which i will... ill be reli done for. reli.. its gona be e end of me.

I dread all of these.. I cant contemplate these thoughts.. juz the thought scares me. Plus all thts happening is really draining off my already limited supply of energy.. i dono if i can live through this.. its too terrifying.

Evrything will be gone.. all my aspirations.. my dreams.. my parents will hate me to e core.. My future.. e things ive been workin towards all my life... they're diminishing.. fading.

It was so terrible.. horrifying.. the last time it happened.. i cant imagine what will happen if it does again.. i cant even contemplate these thoughts.. all the quarrels.. the sadness.. te pain.. the tears.. the nights.. the breakdowns.. the exasperation.

I was tryina be like you.. trying to stay strong like u wanted me to.. Im so sorry... its juz too hard...

Thanks to Eco challenge and Macs ytd... I am now sick once again. And my throat hurts like a million shit.

HAHAHAHA guess what we got 6th position out of like 30 other groups ok! it was like amazing race and it was reli tiring.. BUT it was DAMNNNN FUN!

yea.. like finding a specific tree in e middle of e rainforest is fun.

Thank god we have geniuses like chris and victor who solved e puzzles in instants. All i did was run, run and run.

Oh and there was this uber helpful guy who was tellin us all e answers as he ran past us.. even tho we didnt even like seek help from him. DAmn nice can!
NEw guy for victor to faint and swoon over.

CT darling got second for her race!!!!!!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR U DARLING!!!! love u so much. u were amazing!!!

Felt like shit afterwards..big headache, nauseating feeling.. painful throat...and had to cancel all outings. What a day.

Gosh i think im gettin reli sick. I HATE GETTIN SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if only id wake up and realize my life were juz a dream..

inter class Handball competition today!

ok i think i shd avoid takin part or watchin another ball competition again.

cos in e midst of all e excitement... I realized id made a folly of myself by screaming too much! which.. i alwayz do durin ball games. AND I ALWAYZ DO IT SUBCONSCIOUSLY .. i guess thts how i get my sore throats.

But all in all... I loved today.. i guess we've bonded well as a class through this game. I love T27!!!!!!! we hardly hav time to bond and stuff and frankly speaking i guess ive segregated alot from e class by stickin to my clique for e past few months.

But i sooo loved today! cos we've finally gone for a hot class outing! after like afihalksjdfiuasdnflasfh centuries. yay T27 ROCKS!

Right now I shd drink more honey water to soothe my throat.

Lately.. ive been doin a million weird things!

LIke showin off to Beepee my blueberry ice cream. This was how it happened.

Me: *Walks over to beepee excitedly with an ice cream cone durin break* Ive got an ICE cream! :D:D *runs away*

Beepee: *stones*

woo studyin sessions are gettin more and more creative i must say.

was studyin with JOJO and Linton on labour day IN MY ROOM!!!

of all places.

it was hot tho.

LAst sunday.. we went to NYP to study. and we locked ourselves in there for goodness sake from morning till night. we even broought like instant noodles and stuff and hid ourselves in a secluded corner in the ghosttown-like school.

it was not hot cos we couldnt find our way out.

Christy's burp was so smelly ytd.

AND TRG WAS SOOOOOOOOOO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i learned a new surprise attack!

I love MR Koh!!!!!!!!

Truddy's stomach is sooooooooooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!! i feel like huggin it.

err if i ever sound err.. emo or depressed to u.. IM NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

don even noe why i gave such an impression :S

mayb its cos shufen's suddenly becomin serious and deep. mmhmm

HELLO?! cant i be deep?! IM not exactly only a cell-width's deep u noe.

and err.. most of e time when i write something.. like deep or whateva u call it.. i noe some of u might like try guessin if it ever was referrin to u but i assure its NOT!
its more like.. a family thing and apparently none of my Family members read my blog.

SO yea.. im pretty sure tht whateva i may write here wont be referin to any of u!

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG LABOUR DAY TMR! WOW WOW WOW HOLIDAY! YAY!

Not.

apparently.. it will be yet another study session. And i shal make it a good one. No life.

I think e teachers were reli cute today! lOL!!!! we taught em judo!

DAMN FUNNY!

switch of roles for a lil while. HOw cool is tht.
I love e judokas!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxoxox

P.S. U rock U rock U rock ok babe?! Luv ya to e depths of e earht. Uve tried ur best! stop blaming urself... we love u and we're dearly proud of u. :) HAHA im sure u noe im referin to u, Crazy girl!

Life's been awesome!
apart from e fact tht id cried ytd durin trg and was feelin upset at night. couldnt control e tears and im not e sort who bawls in public. how crazy of me. Heck im alright now.

Like Gosh i reli miss my friends. YS darlin and evryone dadadada. I miss wispy too! Be touched and honoured.

Went shopping on friday with sis. im reli broke and i mean broke.

Im so not lookin forward to judo camp :S

Was supposed to study with Tony ytd but he apparently was too caught up in his computer game and was a few hours late and came at e time when e lib was announcing its closure. He's prolly tryina take revenge BUT at least i had a reasonable excusable excuse e last time i was a few hrs late ok!!!!!!!

AND OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

sooo many pple were injured durin trg ytd. LIke u can see pple sprawled on e floor or sittin out on e benches. Poor Poor tweety who dislocated her poor poor little toe.

And the NS guyz dont look too bad with their hairless heads...but they are more hyperish dan ever.

LIKE plssssssss im so random. OMG! i shd reli stop spendin on accessories cos eventually the money spent willl snowball into an all time world's deadliest avalanche and bankrupt poor ol' me.

wow it seems e emo trend is back. CHEER up emo pple. A flower grows evrytime it rains!
HAHAHA wow y is shufen suddenly so deep?! (PS: i took tht phrase from a song)
But heck sometimes pple write such nice poems and proclaiming tht they;d composed it specially for u.. and den Ud listen to a song and realize how familiar the lyrics sounds.
well at least im not IM not sayin tht id made tht phrase up myself!!!

WOOHOO!!!!!!!

Sian
i shall FULLY conc on JUDO, Studies, LOvely mates, God and thats all! I think im repeatin this for like e hundredth time

JUDO JUDO JUDO getitn abit sian. STUDIESSSSSSSSSS arghhh omg i reli muz do wel for mid years or die e worst death ever in history.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS IM GG TO GET MYSELF TONS OF NEW STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!

in fact i had a flower blooming on my head on monday. it withered thanks to rach's laughter... and the joke about the bee hoverin it durin assembly.

SHIT im gona die.. havent studied for so many days..

IM GONA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

like shit i havent batheeeeeeeeed

LIKE SHITTTTTTTTTTT AGE grp is comin up. pls kill me somebnody

ill prolly come back to school on monday with a hot cast in my hand.. with lotsa signatures on it.

OMG im gona dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

PTM TMR!!!!!!!!!
WHATEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

omg i think i curse too much id reli better stop

GUESSSSSS what

I passed my standing braod jump and sit and reach!!!

and u wont believe this but i got As for both of em when in e past id usualy find it hard to even scrape through a pass grade.

miracle miracle miracle

so all in all i got full marks!!!!

YAY!

okay age grp is scarin e hell outta me

im gona die im serious

and e poor guys are going for their NS. all emo-ing away.

awww gona miss u guyz man!

all in all.. todays quite an achieving day..
tht jigasaw puzzle tht had been messed up for quite some time has been pieced nicely and they're finally in place =) IM so thankful to God for evrything that hes done... finally... i can lead my life without that burden ive been carrying for a v long time..
IM gona forgive him1 anyway cos God taught me to be forgiving
I pray tht he2 wont be too affected and im glad hes2 made a resolution to stop fooling arnd.. even tho he prolly wont wana talk to me anymore. Im sorry for bein cold but i wanted to help u forget me.. cos im not worth it..reli. Ur gona find some1 way better than me. ok i noe ur gona get damn mad after readin this.
Im so thankful tht YS has finally got out of her pain and is finally bein herself again.. Ive been praying for u ok!!!! =D Good luck for ur comP! I love my darlingssss!!! =D
IM so happy cos ive finally done what ive been tryina do for what seemed like 10 thousand centuries... in juz one day.. today.

ok im gona die for age group

time to be an emo kid

uh-oh
what sorta shit hav i gotten myself into

been going out with e judokas.. like almost evryday in this week lol..thank god for rachel.. whos another mugger and who has also been constantly remindin me to study despite all e farewell outings for e senior guys. and its been reli reli hot!!!!!!!!!! BUT all of these will soon come to an end cos.. mom's starting to nag again.. and the guys will leave next week :(
Its totally saddening tht e guys are going for their NS.. and we'll so totally miss em.. Sighz..

I love e judokas! and age grp is nx week. like arghhhhh im off-form.

Heyo! its been donkeys since i last blogged.

Dad has juz got himself a 'russian haircut'.. (or so he says).. he thinks its reli cool and has been showing it off.. But i think it looks like the hair cut Burt from sesame street has.

Thank God that April Fool's lies on a weekend. Same thing happened last year. YES! april fool's is significant for someone like me cos apparently.. ill alwayz be a target for those nasty guys out there... or girls for that matter. AND U NOE WHATTTTTTTTT i tricked 2 pple ytd!!!!!!!!!!!! One is mingsheng.. the other is beepee. 2 smart pple. Pls clap for me!!!!!! WOO gr8 achievement. i think i can enrol myself in e world's guiness book of records as the best April Fool's trickster to ever walk this planet.

but evryone said tt it wasnt counted... and they started laughing in my face wen i excitedly told em all abt it. :(

SO IM NOT GG TO SAY how i tricked those pple!! im gonna leave u hanging there.

BTW, i fell off my chair once again.

how sexy is that? NOT

The first was cos i was tryina duck away from a flying bee...

this time was cos.. i was tryina pick up a bottle

SOOO AT LEAST ITS NOT AS STUPID AS E FIRST.

WOOTS im improving man.

omigosh AGE group comp is coming up!!!

i felt much better today... apart from a lil splitting headache durin Bio prac.. i think i stood too long or something... Damn im as fragile as glass. And got tht stupid headache in the library so i went home to sleep like a pig.

STUPID !!!!!!! why did i get sick.. skipping trg as a result and now im as weak as ever while evryones as strong as bulls. SKipped MAss PE too!!!! when i needa train for that stupid relay thing. STUPID PLS!

YEs and STUPID PLS! random we had to deal with life specimen for BIO SPA..crickets.. Muz be mr Ho's idea! Mr Ho was kind enough to allow yx to get e crickets for me and victor helped me set up e stuff.. so basically...I didnt touch e crickets. but it was v nightmar-ish. JUZ LOOKIN AT IT STRUGGLE MAKES MY HAIR STAND!!!!!!! my fear for insects is that bad. AND what the hell... random guyz decided that scarin a poor innocent soul like me.. (ahem).. was fun and it amused em to see me yelping and screaming for help when they released the big ugly cricket onto my stuff.

Damn im tired and zonked out... but i guess i gotta do at least something simple like stayin up for him to pass him his pressie on his bday... after how it hurt him.

OK... time for me to get crazy. Ready? 1, 2, 3...

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

U SOOOOOO cant believe this i swearrrrrr i dieddddddddddd entering "Diva".. the accessory shop... ITS THE HOTTESTTTTTTT SHOP ON THE PLANET I SWEARRRR

I ALMOST FAINTED SEEIN ALL THOSE BEAUTIFUL NECKALCES THEY WERE SOOOO DAMN BEAUTIFUL I JUZZZZZZZZZ FAINTED AT E SIGHT OF EMMMMM

okay... its official.. DIva is my favourite accessory shop. Forver 21 and ZAra are my favourite clothes shop.

I GOT JELLYBEANSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YAYAYYAYAAYYAYAYYA
i entered paradise again after a damn longggggg time... since i hardly had any time at all to go to town for months. CANDY EMPIRE!!!!!!! the hottest candy SHop on planet earth.

DAMN they hav every flavour ok! its almost like bertie bott's every flavour beans from harry potter. this lil bottle. soooo cuteeeeeee!!!

I saw e SINS shop cos i was eyeing on all e beautiful chocos.. and tried to see e name of e shop and its the shop that Vince talked about! WOW!

OKay im damn tiredddddddd.. FASTER COME HOME PLS!!!!!!! IM GG TO FAINT FROM FATIGUE ALR!!!!!!!!!!

I shall be a whiny bitch for a bit here.. bear with me.

Shall i emphasize on how this is e FIRST TIME IM DOIN SOMETHING SOOOO DARN HORRIBLY BCOS I MISINTERPRETED BOTH ECONS ESSAY QNS!!!!!!! SHall i emphasize on how i got e world's biggest
F grade. This is e first time in my life im gettin an effin F!!!!!!!! I am like sooooo pissed with myself
well but here's e worse part..apparently mom spoke to my form tcher abt me and my judo and how i havent been studyin much bcos of it when its sooo not true!
And now ms Lim has agreed to speak to the judo tcher to stop me from gg for trg regularly shd my CT grades be bad!!! OMG ill nvr be selected for team nationals that way!

AND NOW... Thanks to the MY fat little EFF

I can kiss goodbye to judo...my lil fire and passion.

funny how one careless mistake can ruin ur life

OMG

:'(

okok since evryones talkin about e camp i shall rant about it too.

But i shall start with CCA judo trials...

It was superbly embarassing cos sir asked me to play with yimin and unfortunately... i landed too hard on my front... hitting my head as a result and got a heartburn. My heart stopped beating i SWEAR i could feel it! couldnt breathe.
And so i was making weird moaning noises while evryone includin e J1s stared and wondered what had happened. SOOOO EMBARASSING PLSSSSS

I tried to shut up but that stupid moaning wont stop.. cos my heart wont pump and i was panting at e same time... so weird toad-y noises came out. Embarassment beyond anything.

Judo camp rocked seriously... even tho i bet evryone came out with tons of bruises and abrasions.. aches and all.

I love e team! U guyz rock my sock.

We trained together.. cried together.. sweat and bled together..
e bonding we had durin e camp was seriosuly awesome. I love em all so much.

all in all.. it was a pretty inspiring camp.
distinguishing between 'hoping to win' and 'wanting to win'
I guess it seriously woke us up..i noe its hard with those strong opponents who have got much more experience than us but.. i guess thru e trgs ive had in judo.. ive learnt that nothign is impossible... so long as u set ur mind to it. Like the fact that i nvr thot id finish those set of trg but i did and blacked out in the end..and the fact tht id nvr in my wildest dream thot id win Gold.. but i did..
Thats why i love judo so much... it taught me so much about what i want in life.
Hoping to win is stupid... We want to win.

Today is e most unfortunate day of my life. Someone must have been cursing me!!!

First.. i blacked out durin trg... when i havent blacked out for a damn long time.. What the hell happened to me.
I skipped one hopping lap cos i fell as i made a turn since i couldnt see anything while evryone hopped away merrily like little frogs.

Then as i walked out of cj... 966 drove past.
I was super patient..and waited for the nx one which took a century to come... and wen it finally came... I looked to the sky and thank the gods above... and den it drove PAST me again... cos it was too crowded.

Thank u v much mr. 966 bus driver. I cant wait to pop a thumb into ur sockets.

SO zhenyi, max and i were cursing our asses off till we had no more ass left.

and we decided to go to SJI to get the 960 since the waiting time is shorter. wich we did... and as we were makin our way to the raffles town club bus stop... a gorgeous 960 drove past.

I fainted.

And den my hp ran outta batt...

And when we finally got ourselves boarded onto a 960 bus... Vince said i shd alight and transit cos 960 takes forever to get there.

Very hot indeed.

Anyway.. i could study productively.. even tho the mac's music was retardedly playing away... But yay! i completed half of e wksht.

today is an accomplishing day cos i overcame a thrillion obstacles and i completed half of my bio wksht. Is that hot or what?

Okokok

This is like... u noe? whateva. I hav like TONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OF WORK TO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

isnt this juz hot?!

NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

i didnt go for trg today cos mom didnt allow me to. ANd yes im gettin monthly lenses back. GOODBYE NERDY PANTS!!!!!!!!!! im like insulting myself

Yea and once again ive missed out on a million stuff. SHIT PE tmr. IM gona Stone there like a rock for a full hour. I hate games day honestly they bring no meaning to life!

Physical trg is e only thign thats decent in PE i swear. ok maybe its cos i can run and am hopeless with anything else... ok mayb apart from judo.

OKay i cant wait to get back to judo. TO SLAM ALL MY TROUBLES AWAY!!!!!!!!!! BAM BAM BAM MWAHAHAHHAHHAA... MAXIMISE THE EFFECTTTTTTTTT... Im gona morotae the world or prolly do a painful makikomi or a landing OSOto. judo judo judo

Dont read this its a waste of time.

Enough is enough.

im never speaking to anyone in e house ever again.

sometimes i juz wish ill nv live past this year. I noe that sounds stupid but i find myself happy about that thought...and im pretty shocked at that too. I wish i was nv born..den ill stop gettin all these nonsense in all areas of my life cos ill prolly not hav em in e first place. These tears are awfully distracting...

I cant live pass that anymore... Cant live past what happened 2 years back.. all that trauma.. i cant take it if it happens again... they'll disown me this time.. I know itll happen again... I wont do well... cos it alwayz happens. Happens too often till im pretty numbed alr. Look at what happened to CTs. I studied reli hard for it and thought i was prepared but I read e qn wrongly for Econs. And i noe im gg to fail for GP cos i wrote a crapped up essay. And my chem... I didnt have time. I don wish to get my grades cos i noe il be screwed further...and im alr so screwed to the point tht i reli cant take it anymore... those watching eyes of theirs. Like she said..they've never trusted me.

I come home and it alwayz feels like a prison. and sometimes i juz dread going home id rather study in e lib with a close friend. Those watching eyes of theirs...and their spy. There is juz no warmth evrytime i step home. I dont like those quarrels... i get insomia all e time...i cant sleep at night bcos im so troubled.. u think i like being rude but i dont.. i hate being rude to em.. but i juz couldnt take it anymore...Perhaps sis is more open about her stress and stuff and openly talk to em about it but i talk about my probs in my diary. Biased.

and all the other nonsense... i cant even pin point to what they are... but i dun understand why ive been this depressed for a very long time and it hasnt reli gone off...I reli cant pin point it out at all. Its all an acumulative effect.

I'll be fine really... Dont worry about me... i can handle this.. ill be ok reli. Thank u for ur concerns and stuff... I guess evryone has their moments. Ill be ok. =) i will reli. It will go off sooner or later.

AH sugar!

training today.. im so gonna die...havent trained in two weeks! im gonna die. i hope i dont faint. I miss e judokas!!!!!!!!

And yea.. CTs finally over. Gosh i think this is one of e only exams that i could sleep proper hours.. perhaps id prepared beforehand =)

but i noe im gna fail econs and gp. Which is soo not hot.

Yay! gonna meet my babies tmr!!!!!! cant wait u guyz blow my troubles away. Muackzy muackz

I sense trouble brewing...and i dont mean to...i didnt do anything...ive tried my best..but u left me with no choice...u wanted it.. so suffer e consequences... over the weirdest reasons.

My life is diminishin to a point where theres none at all. NO life they call it.

EVRYDAY im Studyin and stressin myself up.

is that sucky or is that juz sucky?

woo chg of words.. id usually go like "isnt that juz hot"
Im a Live example of how school and exams can change a person

See? im using sucky instead of hot now. Behold. Not.

Im reli tired.. reli reli tired. I think the only time when i feel like im back to being me... is the time when im on e fone or catchin time with old time besties like Arabel.. Chloe.. Jojo..dadada... which unfortunately can only take place for a super short while... cos ya.. studies again.

Im juz draggin myself evryday ..praying hard to make it through each day. its that sucky. IM juz so tired i hate school.

as i was walkin home along the lonely, remote pathway... i finally felt peace.. something i havent felt in a long while as i reminisced about the meaning of life as i usually would whenever i stone ever since it happened...cos i guess it traumatised me alot..

The only reason that was ever remotely....bright or worth living for..some months or even weeks ago... was i guess... my CCA...I guess it was e only thing that made me feel alive was like after trg... or juz after spending time with old time mates. I guess it gave me life..and hope.. at a point when i felt despondent about evrything else... I wanted to prove to e world... tht i was not juz wat they think i am... brainless.. bimbotic superficial nothingness. Or mayb its cos of e fact tht id been ponderin too much about my life... and harped too much on e imperfections... I prayed to God..and told him how imperfect i was... i hated myself... hated my life... until God changed it all.. a few weeks ago by making something happen... something id never dream of gettin... Juz so i could finally feel useful and special again. Id never forget that... could never forget tht moment

Id better get back to studying. Haha dont worry about me im ok... :)

Im tryina prepare myself for that thought... cos i noe itll happen eventually...inevitably...
juz so when it happens... it wouldnt be so painful.

hulo.

I won a Gold for Kyu Grade. it was super unexpected. I thot id die in my first match or something. I mean afterall it was e first judo competition of my life! Goshy gosh. i guess i owe it to alot of pple who tried to soothe me while i was in super stressed mode. Evryone was sooo wonderful! Ding is so lovely :D great job anyway u totally got me there.

But its quite an acheivement for someone like me. SO allow me to rant like a gundu here for a while. Gosh i guess i hav to continue training harder and harder from now on... competitions gona get much tougher with all e other belters comin in.

seriously...ill never forget about what happened on sunday...i guess it meant alot to me. afterall its my first competition..and first competitions mean alot. I cannot stress how much it has impacted me... haha wow im gettin emo... i mean it isnt everyday i get national Gold medals u noe...im not as mighty as yimin.

YAY i love cjudo! u guyz rock my sock. xoxox

nothign in my life makes sense

rendered useless.

KYU GRADE

OMg i seriously have no life.

studies judo studies judo studies judo.. thats basically whats been going on

AND KYU GRADE COMPETITION IS GONA BE HELD NX WEEK SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its sooooooooooooooo extremely nerve-wrecking. I hope i wont fluster.

i think id be soo scared ill faint at "Hajimeh" or is this how u spell it?

I have like 4 tests next week. How hot is that. Not.

WISH me luck!!!!!!!! nx week is a terribly terrifying week.

Oh ya and theres Cross country which im definitely going to walk even tho im in competitive thanks to YX. HAHA ive got an excuse!!!!! Ive got Judo competition so i cant risk injuring myself. Isnt that hot?!

And tmr there's CIP! garung guni thingy. YES its all for charity. and cip hours i might add. I bet il reach home at night. Which is so not hot cos i needa study.

I havent been online for as long as whateva. How hot is that.

IM like so random tonight. Check out the thousands of new bruises i have when u see me at schooL!

they are like lil mosquito bites... i totally live up to my name... Abused child.

Happy Bday meiyi!!!!!!!!

even tho its alr over. And she was too smart for e surprise we pulled on her.

Training's getting hotter and hotter. =D

judo judo

Today's trg was.... omg reli.

500 uchikomis with jason tan...and some other groundwork PTs.

And now...im as dead as a corpse. My legs were like shiverin at the end of it.

DAMN tiredddddddddddd

but omg... im reli glad i completed it. it may seem as if Jason tan was reli cruel but he was e one who was givin me all that encouragement and stuff. Hes amazing seriously.

its so accomplishing yay! Tiring... im gg to sleep now seriously.

omg u guyz! tht chem test is extremely stupid. Pls skip qns that u realize uve spent too much time on cos seriously there wont be enough time for u to complete the paper. Good luck!

im starting to love judo!!! previously..i only liked it.

WOOOHHHHHHHJudo Orientation 2007 was a success!!!!!!!!!

All i can say is Hot hot Hot

SOOOOOO hot! seriously. Christy, sondra, ding, siti and whoever i missed out...Hot job seriously! u guyz are awesome!

Hhaa like rach said.. our flame for judo is burning again! Hot hot hot.

Liek for once...there were like sooo many people in e dojo and i realized durin e warm ups..we were practically shouting the jap numbers...training was tough but it was seriously fun. I love trainings like these.

And i love randoris too...even tho i was owned again...as alwayz.I Sprained my neck....after playing with Yimin. it was hot cos i didnt even notice it until after evrything. Hot. Not.

it was reli nothing...juz felt a lil uncomfortable...but when i got home...it got worse and i had trouble sleeping cos i couldnt turn my head too much.

So i conveniently gave an excuse to my personal discipline master, myself, that i couldnt get up at 6am to study cos ive got a sprained neck and it was hard to get out of bed so early in e morning.

UNfortunately...my personal discipline master gave in. And hence...i woke up 3 hrs later.

Great job...Ms Personal disciplne master aka myself.

Kudos to Dad who did something miraculous to my neck and it cured in an instant.

Mingsheng being so very responsible of him has decided to giv us e new timetable today when he was supposed to giv it to us tmr. No more excuses for not finishing up tmr's work. Thanks AM-ASS.

haha jk...but count urself lucky man! Eelin calls me ASS-EFF. very nice name indeed...so special ull never find another person with a similar name.

YAWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN ok time to sleep.

I thot i did it.. i couldnt do it too...Too hard...I tried..and i blame myself for bein lousy too. But u noe what...at e end of e day...like what ive discovered on friday after askin for a sign... There are so many things to do...so many things ive yet to achieve..so many wonderful things in life laid out...Im gona be stronger than what pple think of me...IM not gona give in like dat...i want to be strong...I wont let it happen..i will not fall bcos of it...i will not let it affect me. I can and will do it woohoo.

reflection day

heres what ive discovered today
Ive been hiding behind the black wall...not knowing that there's a whole new beautiful world beyond it...the beautiful things ive missed. IM not gonna use e conventional method...
anything is possible...miracles happen.

They are the ones that truly matter...my wonderful mates..friends and family..the real world..the world im supposed to live in...Your world for me.

Thank u babesss i love uall so much! U hav no idea how much u guys av helped lift me up. Muackz xoxox

I cut my hair today!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVEn tho there is nooooooooo difference at alL!!!!!!!!! but i still love it yay! XD thank u shan shan. XP