Life is such a misery because I cannot go to Korea.
Sigh. But it's okay. Time will heal all wounds.
I'll find something else to do for utmost relaxation.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Insomniac Thoughts
Lately, I've read this amazing and awesome book that Pastor handed to me before my KL trip.
So I read it during the 6 hour trip to KL. Just first three pages of it and I couldn't help but tear for half an hour.
The message was so powerful and strong. It appealed so much to me that I was reminded of the very reason why I chose and wanted so very much to be nursing in the first place since I was a little girl of 5.
'Travel' nursing I used to call it. Travelling the world, to poorer countries and serving the ill and needy.
I don't think its actually called travel nursing but its a term I found somewhere on the internet.
The book was about an autobiography of a lady, who's also a nurse, and who had witnessed the very horrible plight of people in Zimbawe, who were struck with HIV. She couldn't help but be grief stricken by the terror she witnessed and asked God where He was in all of these.
I feel that too... many a times when I work. I cannot begin to describe how lost and impotent that feeling is... so much pain, so much suffering, yet there's only so much that can be done. Why do such tragedies happen? Why Why Why!
But these questions are pretty much rhetorical. You'll never find an answer to this. So I chose not to ask and just continued working on hard...
God spoke to the author when she questioned Him. And He spoke to her heart "It's not what I can do, its what You can do."
That message was so powerful I couldn't help but cry for half an hour just pondering upon my experiences in the hospital, my patients, the documentaries I saw when I was a little girl that drove me to this profession in the first place.
There's no time left, no time left to feel angst, no time left for questions. Every time and effort should be carefully dedicated to saving a world that is so in need of help. There's too much suffering in this world for anyone to worry about self-centered gains.
I'm inspired by people who dedicate their lives to serve and love the broken. I'm dead afraid of the journey ahead. Nursing is tough. But I need this training to mature, grow and be competent before I can reach out to the world at a macro level. I need strength, courage, self-discipline and wisdom to journey on in this precious calling.
Pardon me I think I'm a bit incoherent because its very late in the night and I'm not exactly thinking carefully
Goodnight and God bless.
So I read it during the 6 hour trip to KL. Just first three pages of it and I couldn't help but tear for half an hour.
The message was so powerful and strong. It appealed so much to me that I was reminded of the very reason why I chose and wanted so very much to be nursing in the first place since I was a little girl of 5.
'Travel' nursing I used to call it. Travelling the world, to poorer countries and serving the ill and needy.
I don't think its actually called travel nursing but its a term I found somewhere on the internet.
The book was about an autobiography of a lady, who's also a nurse, and who had witnessed the very horrible plight of people in Zimbawe, who were struck with HIV. She couldn't help but be grief stricken by the terror she witnessed and asked God where He was in all of these.
I feel that too... many a times when I work. I cannot begin to describe how lost and impotent that feeling is... so much pain, so much suffering, yet there's only so much that can be done. Why do such tragedies happen? Why Why Why!
But these questions are pretty much rhetorical. You'll never find an answer to this. So I chose not to ask and just continued working on hard...
God spoke to the author when she questioned Him. And He spoke to her heart "It's not what I can do, its what You can do."
That message was so powerful I couldn't help but cry for half an hour just pondering upon my experiences in the hospital, my patients, the documentaries I saw when I was a little girl that drove me to this profession in the first place.
There's no time left, no time left to feel angst, no time left for questions. Every time and effort should be carefully dedicated to saving a world that is so in need of help. There's too much suffering in this world for anyone to worry about self-centered gains.
I'm inspired by people who dedicate their lives to serve and love the broken. I'm dead afraid of the journey ahead. Nursing is tough. But I need this training to mature, grow and be competent before I can reach out to the world at a macro level. I need strength, courage, self-discipline and wisdom to journey on in this precious calling.
Pardon me I think I'm a bit incoherent because its very late in the night and I'm not exactly thinking carefully
Goodnight and God bless.
Friday, June 08, 2012
Thesis and BJJ
Hi guys!
Had a great time with my Professor yesterday. I think she's more proud of us than we are about the creation of the finalized thesis:
She was so happy to receive it she took pictures of it, smiled and adored the book like an excited little girl.
"Great work! Great work!", she chirped.
My maid and my Mom were very excited to see the book too. "Wow Wow Wow," they'd go.
I think my dad is unfazed cos he's done a number of these books so its not anything superbly fascinating to him.
As I look back and think about the thesis journey, I'll reminisce upon the verses and the constant encouragement I got from my Professors, pastor, family and friends that kept me strong through the state of anxiety and frequent panic attacks on the final days of my thesis submission. Life flashed before each time I was having a panic attack and when I was trying hard to get out of it. I was a total wreck, and in a total state of desperation.
Its a miracle I managed to get out of 18th April, well and sound, and amazingly got an A+ grade for it. Although after I submitted, I started panicking again because I got worried about some small mistakes I thought I made. The whole journey was just like a miracle. Many things happened during the course of this project that its too much to note it here and I'm lazy to write about it.
As I hear about my friend's struggles with anxiety disorder at work, I can't help but reminisce how much help the Lord had provided me during those tough times. I couldn't have completed the thesis had I not turned to God for strength and help. I pray every day for her and I hope that she'll be delivered from her current situation. We're extremely worried about her.
Anyway I'm picking up some new sport called Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. My whole body (including the crotch) is aching, mostly from the Muay Thai trainings as well as the BJJ class. This new gym that I am at, is mostly filled with sweaty buff men, who sometimes exercise little sense of public discretion and walk around in their briefs and boxers of all colors.
Too much time from work. I'd better get back to working hard and diligently on my publication.
Had a great time with my Professor yesterday. I think she's more proud of us than we are about the creation of the finalized thesis:
She was so happy to receive it she took pictures of it, smiled and adored the book like an excited little girl.
"Great work! Great work!", she chirped.
My maid and my Mom were very excited to see the book too. "Wow Wow Wow," they'd go.
I think my dad is unfazed cos he's done a number of these books so its not anything superbly fascinating to him.
As I look back and think about the thesis journey, I'll reminisce upon the verses and the constant encouragement I got from my Professors, pastor, family and friends that kept me strong through the state of anxiety and frequent panic attacks on the final days of my thesis submission. Life flashed before each time I was having a panic attack and when I was trying hard to get out of it. I was a total wreck, and in a total state of desperation.
Its a miracle I managed to get out of 18th April, well and sound, and amazingly got an A+ grade for it. Although after I submitted, I started panicking again because I got worried about some small mistakes I thought I made. The whole journey was just like a miracle. Many things happened during the course of this project that its too much to note it here and I'm lazy to write about it.
Anyway I'm picking up some new sport called Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. My whole body (including the crotch) is aching, mostly from the Muay Thai trainings as well as the BJJ class. This new gym that I am at, is mostly filled with sweaty buff men, who sometimes exercise little sense of public discretion and walk around in their briefs and boxers of all colors.
Too much time from work. I'd better get back to working hard and diligently on my publication.
Sunday, June 03, 2012
Hot Pink
I did some crazyyy stuff.
Painted my nails hot pink. I figured out that this was going to be the last time that I was going to have painted nails so might as well try a weird color.
And then, (kill me not) i got flamboyant copper highlights.
I'm starting to love colors very much. My new set of clothes will be full of bright colors!
Shopping in Korea shall fulfil my appetite for pastel colors.
I am relaxing too much. On to working on clinical documents and my long-lost publication.
Painted my nails hot pink. I figured out that this was going to be the last time that I was going to have painted nails so might as well try a weird color.
And then, (kill me not) i got flamboyant copper highlights.
I'm starting to love colors very much. My new set of clothes will be full of bright colors!
Shopping in Korea shall fulfil my appetite for pastel colors.
I am relaxing too much. On to working on clinical documents and my long-lost publication.
Saturday, June 02, 2012
Woots
I did something crazy! *Sings opera*
Anyway, I'm going to cosmopolitan Sydney for boring 6 days to experience the cold. We initially wanted Perth's farm stay. I thought i could bring all my favourite checkered top. Because it was going to be too cold in the farms during this time of the year, we decided against it.
For a moment I thought I could meet Nick or Brenda in Sydney but then I realized that he's in Melbourne and she's in Brisbane.
And because we're going with a tour group I bet it would be completely boring.
Only good part about the trip is that I'm travelling with MOMMY! My first time travelling with her again, since I was nine.
And then I'll go for my commencement, and head off for....
KOREA!
With my best travel buddies, Sis and Shan.
I can't wait. Dad has surprisingly agreed to lend me the DSLR camera. I'm gonna create beautiful pictures again. Just you wait. ;)
Anyway, I'm going to cosmopolitan Sydney for boring 6 days to experience the cold. We initially wanted Perth's farm stay. I thought i could bring all my favourite checkered top. Because it was going to be too cold in the farms during this time of the year, we decided against it.
For a moment I thought I could meet Nick or Brenda in Sydney but then I realized that he's in Melbourne and she's in Brisbane.
And because we're going with a tour group I bet it would be completely boring.
Only good part about the trip is that I'm travelling with MOMMY! My first time travelling with her again, since I was nine.
And then I'll go for my commencement, and head off for....
KOREA!
With my best travel buddies, Sis and Shan.
I can't wait. Dad has surprisingly agreed to lend me the DSLR camera. I'm gonna create beautiful pictures again. Just you wait. ;)
Friday, June 01, 2012
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