I feel like shaving bald
maybe im juz becomin a lil too crazy
as crazy as psychotic britney spears who went to shave her head

thursday was roughly a last training.

And suddenly.. it juz hit me that.. once this is over..
ill hardly see my darling judokas or train with em again
i think im gonna miss that feeling of extreme exhaustion and fatigue.. and that feeling of pushing urself to the very limit...
im gonna miss throwing rachel
im gonna miss judo

and the best judoka team mates in the entire universe!!!!!!!!!

it was a pretty.. emotional day.. on thursday for me.. the day sir announced the team...i was walkin along with siti... and as we came to a sudden realization that we were not gona see e judokas as much once its over.. we both cried... and siti quickly changed the subject

i mean.. ive been longing for this day to come for a very long time.. for the day when ill step down.. so there;ll be no more grueling training and ill finally have more time for my studies... and yet.. now that the day has come.. im not exactly rejoicing.. its juz so.. saddening.

and i juz want u guyz to know that it was the greatest pleasure to hav been able to train with such a wonderful bunch of people.. I am soo greatly honoured to have trained with all of u.. u guyz are amazing beyond anything and i love u guyz so much xoxo i couldnt ask for more

Ill alwayz remember those memorable times ive had in judo.. so many ups and downs.. so many lessons ive learnt.. so much ive discovered about myself.. gg against the odds and that the impossible.. is reli well possible afterall... I love judo im gona miss it so much.

its our nats this wednesday! Finally..after torturing ourselves for 2 years for this day!
Jia you darlings!!! xoxo

I am a very sentimental person ..ahem..and hence this post

Tonight.. july 2nd, 2007, is a very special night..

as its the night i hav finally changed my pillow after 13 years.

cos it was too flat after 13 years of havin a heavy head rest upon it. Not that my heads that heavy cos its full of brain mass..

but still it is something worth commemorating.

Evryone! one minute of silence pls!

litterbugs are here to stay

its hard.. but uve gotta pick urself up and move along thru life anwyay.. i mean what choice do u have?

stay strong wont u

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

JOJO bought us a red adidas track suit!!!

oh my god i wana die!

weird

Weird things happen at civics center and allow me to reinforce this.. WEIRD things reli do happen at civics center.
Unfortunately it has to be the place i mug day and night at

And here i am.. alive and breathing. *checks pulses* Yes indeed my heart is still beating

Thank GOD ID MANAGED TO GET OUT ALIVE!! I never thot id see sunlight ever again

The stupid lock in the toilet wouldnt OPEN so i was stuck in there for 30 minutes wen peeing requires compromising only 30 seconds or maybe 29s of our lives.

I swear i thot the toilet bowl was gona be my death bed.

I was imagining sis's frantic menace and evryone else running helter skelter like lil mice all over civics to look for the lost lost missing ongshufen

I imagined posters of myself stuck on MRT stations' call-outs for missing people

my fingers are now bruised from trying to turn that lock open though

but no worries evryone cos i wont disappear from your lives just yet.. cos right now im shivering in the library once again

One day i shall strut into the library in winter apparels as a protest against turning the library into the 'north pole' of Singapore.

And to stand up for the poor polar bears in the arctic suffering from the effects of global warming as they tire themselves out swimming cos theres no more ice for them to rest on thanks to more CFC emission coming out from civics center's woodland's regional library

My time spent mugging has endowed me with the knowledge that there are indeed many interesting individuals out there manifesting planet Earth.

Yesterday there were three man who arent exactly in their right minds in the library at the SAME section where i was studying. I mean i can even recognise them cos the library is now like my second home. U can tell that they aint exactly sound cos they keep talking in the library to themselves.

Like this man who keeps cursing and swearing in cantonese

Or this old man who walked up to me and asked "do you want wisdowm"

Or this regular visitor i see evryday walkin arnd and shakin his head and laughin to himself

or screaming kids that screech at evrything and i mean evrything

Or some kids who are standing at attention, singing majulah singapura while facing me right now as im typing. Im at macs. I guess its cos im wearing a red and white shirt. I guess they mistook me for a singapore flag

HAHA im so lazy i juz copied e whole chunk of picture url from christy's blog.

"sssehhhh"

my new moan.. to let out my fustration during training. Like when u needa summon soo much energy its seriously killing ur lungs... A good loud moan will help. Ive learnt that through judo.
the most unique of which belongs to jenny in which both rachel and I love to crack at.. it goes like "WASSUP"

IM serious it helps!

let me give u a brief summary on e effects of judo training camp

1) We couldnt sleep at night cos our body was too accustomed to the strenuous and active training of training from MORNING TILL NIGHT only stoping to rest durin meal times. We ended up having spasms while dreaming of a judo rip or throw.
2) OUr hands and feets were wrapped in rolls of plasters and tapes
3) we developed polka dotted (blue blacks) skins
4) it was a chore to sit;
5) it was a chore to get up from sitting position;
6) it was a chore to laugh.. yea so i ended up screaming instead of laughing when a joke comes along... due to horrendous muscle aches. basically.. it was a chore to move.
7) it was a chore to sit on e hard floor cos our backs were filled with bruises
8) the bathroom was filled with cries of pain and screams due to the wetting of painful abrasions
9) my dear partner, rachel, trained so hard till she had hyperventilation
10) Ive created a new moan to burst out more energy and it came naturally!
11) Bleeding fingers
12) swollen knee and hips
13) pain at every part of the body
14) Much Adrenaline wasted while we worry about what we'd hav to go thru in e next upcoming trainings during breaks.
15) Tears of fustration and fatigue shedded while we trained our asses off cos the feeling of extreme fatigue was terrible
16) Urge to pluck Jason's head off and stuffing it in the oven grew stronger

ALL IN ALL
It was e worst camp ive ever gone to. Judo camp=torture camp
The other terrible one was the June judo camp but i think this is slightly worse than that.

BUT GUESS WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE've SURVIVED JUDO CAMP AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all that torture.. was worth it. =)


To bleeding, sweating, fainting, pain, breaking bones, bruising, exhaustion, dadada
JUDO ROCKS!!!

To my dearest darling judokas.. it was a pleasure to be able to go through this hardship with u darlings as a team. We've made it!!!! to saturday night!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!
JOY TO THE WORLD

u should see evryone's glowing face wen e last trainin ended.

I love JUDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Okay im gonna die! 3 days of work to catch up on IM seriously dying! and more trainings comin up. Gosh i don think i can sleep at night anymore.

I seriously think im gonna fail Mid years.

say ur last goodbyes to me cos im off to judo aka torture camp

gosh cant wait for e exams to be over.. seriously screwing my life!

i hate school i reli do

BYE BYE

hello hello hello

im gettin a lil cranky but its ok since im alwayz cranky all e time

Gosh.. i reli cant bring myself to concentrate Oh gosh!

i seriously need some inspirational figure to study with me!!! SUPER INSPIRATIONAL LIKE PROLLY E SMARTEST PERSON IN SINGAPORE WHOS TAKIN HIS/HER AS too.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

these few days has been awesome... at least im gettin a wee bit of my life back apart from all that mugging.
and ive got myself to walk on the right path.

There was e CJ drama play night.. and it was hot. I SWEar Evryone was not themselves it was CHAOS!
MADNESS!
more CHAOS
and MORE madness... im sorry but i hav a v limited space in e vocab section of my brain.

Siti was awesome cos she Miaoed.
Sondra was awesome too cos she zaogenged
Martina was awesome too cos she had lightings draped over her.

haha nahh juz kiddin.. U guyz were aweome cos u guys were hot seriously.
i mean it was e first time i saw em act and i was sooo totally impressed.

went to meet e usual NUTZY NS guyz again... at like 11pm!
they are as cranky as ever! but i had to leave immediately cos i didnt wana walk 50 km home in 6 inch high wedges when all e bus services decide to abandon me.

BUT clement was sooo ncie!!!!!! insisted that i shd take a cab home and paid for it!!! I almost died from gratefulness! SO nice pls!

Sherman being as retarded as ever. HAHAHHAA

ANd omg u wouldnt believe what happened durin judo training

Punishments!!!!!!!!! cos some guys decided to act cute and posed as F4s. aka flower 4s. as rachel and i put it by not wanting to spar... causing the whole team to suffer !

gosh im dreadin judo camp. Its gonna be more like torture camp!
Pls dont miss me too much shd anything untowards happen.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

My shoulders are officially... WEIRD

both of em.. so much so tht its becomin a chore unhookin ahem.. when ive gotta reach behind my back.

MY thighs are as hard as my marble floor... tho not as shiny cos they're not as smooth.

IM like aching ALLL OVERRRR thanks to sat's trg.

AND if u havent heard.. Ive CUT MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ripley's believe it or not.

To all tht ive moaned like moaning myrtle to... its alright.. I think i love it now!!!!

MWAHAHA

BTW!!!!! Diva's 50% off SALE IS A TO DIE FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I bot this reli cute black clip with a bow and a pair of hot dangling earrings. They are soooooooooooooo cooL!!!!!!!! as cool as the ice in my refrigerator. Ive fallen head over heels in love with SALES! LIKE Deeply!!!!

I reli love diva i reli reli reli do! Its e hottest shop thts ever known to humanity!!! Like omg! i mean it!!!!!!!!! but why are their necklaces soooo expensive :(:(:(

IF U WANA GET ME ANY PRESSIE!!!!!!!!!!! GET IT FROM DIVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok tht was soo subtle

Jojo's stayin over tonight! WOots (new word ive learnt from MS)!!!

Shit id better study now!
I need muggers to inspire me to study man!

IM gettin lazier to blog day by day cos this blog doesnt alwayz represent what i reli feel about things.. keep havin to put on a farcade about how im so cheery about evrything cos i don reli fancy pple worryin for me.

Well.. cheers to fainting and bleeding on the dojo.

I did 10 3 min bouts... first time im doin it.. and it had to be on e day i was sick.

And well i fainted. When i got a hold of myself or when i was more sobre after evrything.. all the pain started to surface...
NEW bruises, injuries, painful bleeding abrasions.. stupid ol' shoulder injury.

Thanks to judo.. My legs and hands are gettin interesting patterns.. Polka dots!

JUdo ROCKS!

Econs exam tmr and im reli not lookin forward to it.

if i screw this exam up... itll most prolly be reli e end of me... even tho it may juz be a mid year.. but theres juz so many things u dont know..

SO many things im extremely tired of.. and i dono if ill hav e strength to deal with all these inevitable upcoming obstacles...

if i screw evrything and my life this year... which i will... ill be reli done for. reli.. its gona be e end of me.

I dread all of these.. I cant contemplate these thoughts.. juz the thought scares me. Plus all thts happening is really draining off my already limited supply of energy.. i dono if i can live through this.. its too terrifying.

Evrything will be gone.. all my aspirations.. my dreams.. my parents will hate me to e core.. My future.. e things ive been workin towards all my life... they're diminishing.. fading.

It was so terrible.. horrifying.. the last time it happened.. i cant imagine what will happen if it does again.. i cant even contemplate these thoughts.. all the quarrels.. the sadness.. te pain.. the tears.. the nights.. the breakdowns.. the exasperation.

I was tryina be like you.. trying to stay strong like u wanted me to.. Im so sorry... its juz too hard...

Thanks to Eco challenge and Macs ytd... I am now sick once again. And my throat hurts like a million shit.

HAHAHAHA guess what we got 6th position out of like 30 other groups ok! it was like amazing race and it was reli tiring.. BUT it was DAMNNNN FUN!

yea.. like finding a specific tree in e middle of e rainforest is fun.

Thank god we have geniuses like chris and victor who solved e puzzles in instants. All i did was run, run and run.

Oh and there was this uber helpful guy who was tellin us all e answers as he ran past us.. even tho we didnt even like seek help from him. DAmn nice can!
NEw guy for victor to faint and swoon over.

CT darling got second for her race!!!!!!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR U DARLING!!!! love u so much. u were amazing!!!

Felt like shit afterwards..big headache, nauseating feeling.. painful throat...and had to cancel all outings. What a day.

Gosh i think im gettin reli sick. I HATE GETTIN SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if only id wake up and realize my life were juz a dream..

inter class Handball competition today!

ok i think i shd avoid takin part or watchin another ball competition again.

cos in e midst of all e excitement... I realized id made a folly of myself by screaming too much! which.. i alwayz do durin ball games. AND I ALWAYZ DO IT SUBCONSCIOUSLY .. i guess thts how i get my sore throats.

But all in all... I loved today.. i guess we've bonded well as a class through this game. I love T27!!!!!!! we hardly hav time to bond and stuff and frankly speaking i guess ive segregated alot from e class by stickin to my clique for e past few months.

But i sooo loved today! cos we've finally gone for a hot class outing! after like afihalksjdfiuasdnflasfh centuries. yay T27 ROCKS!

Right now I shd drink more honey water to soothe my throat.

Lately.. ive been doin a million weird things!

LIke showin off to Beepee my blueberry ice cream. This was how it happened.

Me: *Walks over to beepee excitedly with an ice cream cone durin break* Ive got an ICE cream! :D:D *runs away*

Beepee: *stones*

woo studyin sessions are gettin more and more creative i must say.

was studyin with JOJO and Linton on labour day IN MY ROOM!!!

of all places.

it was hot tho.

LAst sunday.. we went to NYP to study. and we locked ourselves in there for goodness sake from morning till night. we even broought like instant noodles and stuff and hid ourselves in a secluded corner in the ghosttown-like school.

it was not hot cos we couldnt find our way out.

Christy's burp was so smelly ytd.

AND TRG WAS SOOOOOOOOOO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i learned a new surprise attack!

I love MR Koh!!!!!!!!

Truddy's stomach is sooooooooooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!! i feel like huggin it.

err if i ever sound err.. emo or depressed to u.. IM NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

don even noe why i gave such an impression :S

mayb its cos shufen's suddenly becomin serious and deep. mmhmm

HELLO?! cant i be deep?! IM not exactly only a cell-width's deep u noe.

and err.. most of e time when i write something.. like deep or whateva u call it.. i noe some of u might like try guessin if it ever was referrin to u but i assure its NOT!
its more like.. a family thing and apparently none of my Family members read my blog.

SO yea.. im pretty sure tht whateva i may write here wont be referin to any of u!

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG LABOUR DAY TMR! WOW WOW WOW HOLIDAY! YAY!

Not.

apparently.. it will be yet another study session. And i shal make it a good one. No life.

I think e teachers were reli cute today! lOL!!!! we taught em judo!

DAMN FUNNY!

switch of roles for a lil while. HOw cool is tht.
I love e judokas!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxoxox

P.S. U rock U rock U rock ok babe?! Luv ya to e depths of e earht. Uve tried ur best! stop blaming urself... we love u and we're dearly proud of u. :) HAHA im sure u noe im referin to u, Crazy girl!

Life's been awesome!
apart from e fact tht id cried ytd durin trg and was feelin upset at night. couldnt control e tears and im not e sort who bawls in public. how crazy of me. Heck im alright now.

Like Gosh i reli miss my friends. YS darlin and evryone dadadada. I miss wispy too! Be touched and honoured.

Went shopping on friday with sis. im reli broke and i mean broke.

Im so not lookin forward to judo camp :S

Was supposed to study with Tony ytd but he apparently was too caught up in his computer game and was a few hours late and came at e time when e lib was announcing its closure. He's prolly tryina take revenge BUT at least i had a reasonable excusable excuse e last time i was a few hrs late ok!!!!!!!

AND OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

sooo many pple were injured durin trg ytd. LIke u can see pple sprawled on e floor or sittin out on e benches. Poor Poor tweety who dislocated her poor poor little toe.

And the NS guyz dont look too bad with their hairless heads...but they are more hyperish dan ever.

LIKE plssssssss im so random. OMG! i shd reli stop spendin on accessories cos eventually the money spent willl snowball into an all time world's deadliest avalanche and bankrupt poor ol' me.

wow it seems e emo trend is back. CHEER up emo pple. A flower grows evrytime it rains!
HAHAHA wow y is shufen suddenly so deep?! (PS: i took tht phrase from a song)
But heck sometimes pple write such nice poems and proclaiming tht they;d composed it specially for u.. and den Ud listen to a song and realize how familiar the lyrics sounds.
well at least im not IM not sayin tht id made tht phrase up myself!!!

WOOHOO!!!!!!!

Sian
i shall FULLY conc on JUDO, Studies, LOvely mates, God and thats all! I think im repeatin this for like e hundredth time

JUDO JUDO JUDO getitn abit sian. STUDIESSSSSSSSSS arghhh omg i reli muz do wel for mid years or die e worst death ever in history.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS IM GG TO GET MYSELF TONS OF NEW STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!

in fact i had a flower blooming on my head on monday. it withered thanks to rach's laughter... and the joke about the bee hoverin it durin assembly.

SHIT im gona die.. havent studied for so many days..

IM GONA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

like shit i havent batheeeeeeeeed

LIKE SHITTTTTTTTTTT AGE grp is comin up. pls kill me somebnody

ill prolly come back to school on monday with a hot cast in my hand.. with lotsa signatures on it.

OMG im gona dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

PTM TMR!!!!!!!!!
WHATEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

omg i think i curse too much id reli better stop

GUESSSSSS what

I passed my standing braod jump and sit and reach!!!

and u wont believe this but i got As for both of em when in e past id usualy find it hard to even scrape through a pass grade.

miracle miracle miracle

so all in all i got full marks!!!!

YAY!

okay age grp is scarin e hell outta me

im gona die im serious

and e poor guys are going for their NS. all emo-ing away.

awww gona miss u guyz man!

all in all.. todays quite an achieving day..
tht jigasaw puzzle tht had been messed up for quite some time has been pieced nicely and they're finally in place =) IM so thankful to God for evrything that hes done... finally... i can lead my life without that burden ive been carrying for a v long time..
IM gona forgive him1 anyway cos God taught me to be forgiving
I pray tht he2 wont be too affected and im glad hes2 made a resolution to stop fooling arnd.. even tho he prolly wont wana talk to me anymore. Im sorry for bein cold but i wanted to help u forget me.. cos im not worth it..reli. Ur gona find some1 way better than me. ok i noe ur gona get damn mad after readin this.
Im so thankful tht YS has finally got out of her pain and is finally bein herself again.. Ive been praying for u ok!!!! =D Good luck for ur comP! I love my darlingssss!!! =D
IM so happy cos ive finally done what ive been tryina do for what seemed like 10 thousand centuries... in juz one day.. today.

ok im gona die for age group

time to be an emo kid

uh-oh
what sorta shit hav i gotten myself into

been going out with e judokas.. like almost evryday in this week lol..thank god for rachel.. whos another mugger and who has also been constantly remindin me to study despite all e farewell outings for e senior guys. and its been reli reli hot!!!!!!!!!! BUT all of these will soon come to an end cos.. mom's starting to nag again.. and the guys will leave next week :(
Its totally saddening tht e guys are going for their NS.. and we'll so totally miss em.. Sighz..

I love e judokas! and age grp is nx week. like arghhhhh im off-form.

Heyo! its been donkeys since i last blogged.

Dad has juz got himself a 'russian haircut'.. (or so he says).. he thinks its reli cool and has been showing it off.. But i think it looks like the hair cut Burt from sesame street has.

Thank God that April Fool's lies on a weekend. Same thing happened last year. YES! april fool's is significant for someone like me cos apparently.. ill alwayz be a target for those nasty guys out there... or girls for that matter. AND U NOE WHATTTTTTTTT i tricked 2 pple ytd!!!!!!!!!!!! One is mingsheng.. the other is beepee. 2 smart pple. Pls clap for me!!!!!! WOO gr8 achievement. i think i can enrol myself in e world's guiness book of records as the best April Fool's trickster to ever walk this planet.

but evryone said tt it wasnt counted... and they started laughing in my face wen i excitedly told em all abt it. :(

SO IM NOT GG TO SAY how i tricked those pple!! im gonna leave u hanging there.

BTW, i fell off my chair once again.

how sexy is that? NOT

The first was cos i was tryina duck away from a flying bee...

this time was cos.. i was tryina pick up a bottle

SOOO AT LEAST ITS NOT AS STUPID AS E FIRST.

WOOTS im improving man.

omigosh AGE group comp is coming up!!!

i felt much better today... apart from a lil splitting headache durin Bio prac.. i think i stood too long or something... Damn im as fragile as glass. And got tht stupid headache in the library so i went home to sleep like a pig.

STUPID !!!!!!! why did i get sick.. skipping trg as a result and now im as weak as ever while evryones as strong as bulls. SKipped MAss PE too!!!! when i needa train for that stupid relay thing. STUPID PLS!

YEs and STUPID PLS! random we had to deal with life specimen for BIO SPA..crickets.. Muz be mr Ho's idea! Mr Ho was kind enough to allow yx to get e crickets for me and victor helped me set up e stuff.. so basically...I didnt touch e crickets. but it was v nightmar-ish. JUZ LOOKIN AT IT STRUGGLE MAKES MY HAIR STAND!!!!!!! my fear for insects is that bad. AND what the hell... random guyz decided that scarin a poor innocent soul like me.. (ahem).. was fun and it amused em to see me yelping and screaming for help when they released the big ugly cricket onto my stuff.

Damn im tired and zonked out... but i guess i gotta do at least something simple like stayin up for him to pass him his pressie on his bday... after how it hurt him.

OK... time for me to get crazy. Ready? 1, 2, 3...

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

U SOOOOOO cant believe this i swearrrrrr i dieddddddddddd entering "Diva".. the accessory shop... ITS THE HOTTESTTTTTTT SHOP ON THE PLANET I SWEARRRR

I ALMOST FAINTED SEEIN ALL THOSE BEAUTIFUL NECKALCES THEY WERE SOOOO DAMN BEAUTIFUL I JUZZZZZZZZZ FAINTED AT E SIGHT OF EMMMMM

okay... its official.. DIva is my favourite accessory shop. Forver 21 and ZAra are my favourite clothes shop.

I GOT JELLYBEANSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YAYAYYAYAAYYAYAYYA
i entered paradise again after a damn longggggg time... since i hardly had any time at all to go to town for months. CANDY EMPIRE!!!!!!! the hottest candy SHop on planet earth.

DAMN they hav every flavour ok! its almost like bertie bott's every flavour beans from harry potter. this lil bottle. soooo cuteeeeeee!!!

I saw e SINS shop cos i was eyeing on all e beautiful chocos.. and tried to see e name of e shop and its the shop that Vince talked about! WOW!

OKay im damn tiredddddddd.. FASTER COME HOME PLS!!!!!!! IM GG TO FAINT FROM FATIGUE ALR!!!!!!!!!!

I shall be a whiny bitch for a bit here.. bear with me.

Shall i emphasize on how this is e FIRST TIME IM DOIN SOMETHING SOOOO DARN HORRIBLY BCOS I MISINTERPRETED BOTH ECONS ESSAY QNS!!!!!!! SHall i emphasize on how i got e world's biggest
F grade. This is e first time in my life im gettin an effin F!!!!!!!! I am like sooooo pissed with myself
well but here's e worse part..apparently mom spoke to my form tcher abt me and my judo and how i havent been studyin much bcos of it when its sooo not true!
And now ms Lim has agreed to speak to the judo tcher to stop me from gg for trg regularly shd my CT grades be bad!!! OMG ill nvr be selected for team nationals that way!

AND NOW... Thanks to the MY fat little EFF

I can kiss goodbye to judo...my lil fire and passion.

funny how one careless mistake can ruin ur life

OMG

:'(

okok since evryones talkin about e camp i shall rant about it too.

But i shall start with CCA judo trials...

It was superbly embarassing cos sir asked me to play with yimin and unfortunately... i landed too hard on my front... hitting my head as a result and got a heartburn. My heart stopped beating i SWEAR i could feel it! couldnt breathe.
And so i was making weird moaning noises while evryone includin e J1s stared and wondered what had happened. SOOOO EMBARASSING PLSSSSS

I tried to shut up but that stupid moaning wont stop.. cos my heart wont pump and i was panting at e same time... so weird toad-y noises came out. Embarassment beyond anything.

Judo camp rocked seriously... even tho i bet evryone came out with tons of bruises and abrasions.. aches and all.

I love e team! U guyz rock my sock.

We trained together.. cried together.. sweat and bled together..
e bonding we had durin e camp was seriosuly awesome. I love em all so much.

all in all.. it was a pretty inspiring camp.
distinguishing between 'hoping to win' and 'wanting to win'
I guess it seriously woke us up..i noe its hard with those strong opponents who have got much more experience than us but.. i guess thru e trgs ive had in judo.. ive learnt that nothign is impossible... so long as u set ur mind to it. Like the fact that i nvr thot id finish those set of trg but i did and blacked out in the end..and the fact tht id nvr in my wildest dream thot id win Gold.. but i did..
Thats why i love judo so much... it taught me so much about what i want in life.
Hoping to win is stupid... We want to win.

Today is e most unfortunate day of my life. Someone must have been cursing me!!!

First.. i blacked out durin trg... when i havent blacked out for a damn long time.. What the hell happened to me.
I skipped one hopping lap cos i fell as i made a turn since i couldnt see anything while evryone hopped away merrily like little frogs.

Then as i walked out of cj... 966 drove past.
I was super patient..and waited for the nx one which took a century to come... and wen it finally came... I looked to the sky and thank the gods above... and den it drove PAST me again... cos it was too crowded.

Thank u v much mr. 966 bus driver. I cant wait to pop a thumb into ur sockets.

SO zhenyi, max and i were cursing our asses off till we had no more ass left.

and we decided to go to SJI to get the 960 since the waiting time is shorter. wich we did... and as we were makin our way to the raffles town club bus stop... a gorgeous 960 drove past.

I fainted.

And den my hp ran outta batt...

And when we finally got ourselves boarded onto a 960 bus... Vince said i shd alight and transit cos 960 takes forever to get there.

Very hot indeed.

Anyway.. i could study productively.. even tho the mac's music was retardedly playing away... But yay! i completed half of e wksht.

today is an accomplishing day cos i overcame a thrillion obstacles and i completed half of my bio wksht. Is that hot or what?

Okokok

This is like... u noe? whateva. I hav like TONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OF WORK TO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

isnt this juz hot?!

NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

i didnt go for trg today cos mom didnt allow me to. ANd yes im gettin monthly lenses back. GOODBYE NERDY PANTS!!!!!!!!!! im like insulting myself

Yea and once again ive missed out on a million stuff. SHIT PE tmr. IM gona Stone there like a rock for a full hour. I hate games day honestly they bring no meaning to life!

Physical trg is e only thign thats decent in PE i swear. ok maybe its cos i can run and am hopeless with anything else... ok mayb apart from judo.

OKay i cant wait to get back to judo. TO SLAM ALL MY TROUBLES AWAY!!!!!!!!!! BAM BAM BAM MWAHAHAHHAHHAA... MAXIMISE THE EFFECTTTTTTTTT... Im gona morotae the world or prolly do a painful makikomi or a landing OSOto. judo judo judo

Dont read this its a waste of time.

Enough is enough.

im never speaking to anyone in e house ever again.

sometimes i juz wish ill nv live past this year. I noe that sounds stupid but i find myself happy about that thought...and im pretty shocked at that too. I wish i was nv born..den ill stop gettin all these nonsense in all areas of my life cos ill prolly not hav em in e first place. These tears are awfully distracting...

I cant live pass that anymore... Cant live past what happened 2 years back.. all that trauma.. i cant take it if it happens again... they'll disown me this time.. I know itll happen again... I wont do well... cos it alwayz happens. Happens too often till im pretty numbed alr. Look at what happened to CTs. I studied reli hard for it and thought i was prepared but I read e qn wrongly for Econs. And i noe im gg to fail for GP cos i wrote a crapped up essay. And my chem... I didnt have time. I don wish to get my grades cos i noe il be screwed further...and im alr so screwed to the point tht i reli cant take it anymore... those watching eyes of theirs. Like she said..they've never trusted me.

I come home and it alwayz feels like a prison. and sometimes i juz dread going home id rather study in e lib with a close friend. Those watching eyes of theirs...and their spy. There is juz no warmth evrytime i step home. I dont like those quarrels... i get insomia all e time...i cant sleep at night bcos im so troubled.. u think i like being rude but i dont.. i hate being rude to em.. but i juz couldnt take it anymore...Perhaps sis is more open about her stress and stuff and openly talk to em about it but i talk about my probs in my diary. Biased.

and all the other nonsense... i cant even pin point to what they are... but i dun understand why ive been this depressed for a very long time and it hasnt reli gone off...I reli cant pin point it out at all. Its all an acumulative effect.

I'll be fine really... Dont worry about me... i can handle this.. ill be ok reli. Thank u for ur concerns and stuff... I guess evryone has their moments. Ill be ok. =) i will reli. It will go off sooner or later.

AH sugar!

training today.. im so gonna die...havent trained in two weeks! im gonna die. i hope i dont faint. I miss e judokas!!!!!!!!

And yea.. CTs finally over. Gosh i think this is one of e only exams that i could sleep proper hours.. perhaps id prepared beforehand =)

but i noe im gna fail econs and gp. Which is soo not hot.

Yay! gonna meet my babies tmr!!!!!! cant wait u guyz blow my troubles away. Muackzy muackz

I sense trouble brewing...and i dont mean to...i didnt do anything...ive tried my best..but u left me with no choice...u wanted it.. so suffer e consequences... over the weirdest reasons.