Today i woke up and had my head spinning like crazy.

My computer just cant get over e fact that id accidentally downloaded virus. Please get a life, commy.

Im going out again tonight. i just wanna stay at home :(

Enough is really enough enough enough enough enough X infinity.

I'm sitting in starbucks at novena.. my favourite hangout to get lost with myself. Sher likes to make fun of that.

the jazz music, fragrant smell of coffee, and the beautiful ambience...

I am glowing pink.. not with health but with sunburn. I am more burnt than tanned.

it was tiring... slept only a few hours last night at Sondy's. Mom miraculously allowed a stayover.

and of course.. clubbing for the first time... and for real. It was fun but Rebel was a bit scary.

I dont think ive been that high before... we were laughing alot. Sushi was eating sushi in e club.

We were constantly protecting each other... even in e midst of our drunken stupor.. that i find very heartening. I'm sorry girls =(

it was a night of fun with the girls I love... who made clubbing fun and 'safe'.

Not something id be lookin forward to doin evry other day though.... perhaps once in a blue moon and only with close friends like my judo babies =)

I dont ever wanna drink this much again.
My head was spinning like mad.

Rachy punched a guy. Luckily he didnt punch back cos he was drunk himself.

This morning we went to Sentosa to get our nice tans. I am freakin burnt by the way. i love the girls so much.

Pics uploaded on Facebook!

Im gonna watch harry potter twice! once next week with weiyu and a second time with dear tracgers on our birthday celebration.

School hols are ending soon. How i wish itll never end. Just thinking about exams and modules brings nightmares.

So sian of goin back to those days of not eating and sleeping properly. Sometimes it gets so stressful the migraine i get from it nauseates.

Sigh.. but i shall persevere. I'm thankful for the award but it has also left me feelin dreadful... i dont noe if i can keep this up... and im so afraid to disappoint all e time.



What i read was first met with defense and mockery. it wasn't as bad as it was pictured. But it was not long later did i reflect upon my life of late... did it appear to me that to some extent... you might be right. This is not what i find most meaningful... not what i want. I always thought that someday someone will snap me out of this... but i was too distracted to be bothered with doin tht myself. Might I say... thank u dear friend... to holler out for me to be myself. I'm glad ur a part of my life...

Goodbye dearies! Bon voyage!



Yesterday =) Awesome shit! love u girls! Happy birthday Peixi <3

If u can tell... my hair is dyed. this is e most obvious of e pics






Are u ready for what im about to say?

I highlighted my hair today...

and it turned out

Orange.

yes orange.

Expect to see a lion head prancing around the medicine building when you visit NUS in august.
=======================

Zirca tonight! I hope they have good music.

I must not get drunk... i must not get drunk

Beach in e morning! Im gonna get my tan and the best part is... its FREEEEE

Nature's gift to me for bein an angel... jk

And a sight to see bikini babes running around. Dont all the men in e world envy me?

=========================

Sat to hang out with Nick and Aaron and at night with Josh.

den ill send nick off to vietnam at e airport and he will make it in time for my bday.

woo!

what ive been up to lately

Not mine... its sis from Jed.. but i juz love flowers i have to take a pic of it.

U'll never guess where this is... Its the pit building! Broke into the F1 race track in tony's car after a trip around Lorong 18 at geylang. it was awesome shit by the way.

Dollin up.

Hot celestine!

Gorgeous girls =)

I took a nap in Ikea because my house collapsed one afternoon

Gorgeous Dress at Haji Lane



Yumzzz!

i love life!

I juz came back from a funeral.

Of someone's whos in fact.. of our age. She committed suicide.

I was really enlightened... i guess from the talk that i had with her aunt... i was opened up to a more realistic view of what life really is about.

Life isn't just about hedonistic pleasures of beauty, popularity or wealth. Life is more than just that... When we're too influenced by these superficialities, we tend to be unaware that the people who love us most, our family, are constantly trying to reach out to us.

When we close a chapter of our lives, and when we assume it to be everything, sometimes its only then do we realize that theres so much more that life has to offer... like people out there who need our help and our contribution. For those who choose to end their lives, they are sadly not given the chance to open themselves up to such wonders.

It is very sad... and i dont want to shake my head at her for what happened... for we have not experienced what she has. I believe it must have been really hard on her. It takes alot for someone to self-mutilate.

Im glad im a nurse. After talkin to her aunt yesterday at the wake, all i wana do is reach out to the depressed. And as a nurse, i have so many of such opportunities. I want to be a part of their lives and help em through.... not simply because its a job that i get paid for... but because i really want to.

I did quite a bit of crazy stuff today.

Woke up in e morning and headed to Swensens for Brunch.

I bought e fragrance oil from body shop! its apparently not Dream... its sweet comfort. I had to sniff out evry fragrance bottle in Body shop until i found it.

I bought Nutella so that i will eat my breakfast every morning.

I dyed my hair RED which managed to turn out BLACK.

I borrowed 8 boooks today knowing that i cant complete em all in e given time loan.

Ive chosen a LONG night gown to sleep with tonight.

OKay im gonna spend my evening reading. I've prepared the room to an ambience that resembles that Soon Lee shop i saw at Haji Lane yesterday.

Air con, Jazz music, candles, flowered fragrance...

I wanted to buy a bunch of beautiful colourful sunflowers in a vase but decided against it cos it will collect dust.

Okay time to spirit away in my wonderful lil room.

but oh dear sis is coming home tonight. the same ol' routine will repeat again. Me chasing her outta e room while she chats all night with her new found love who will so gladly fetch me home tomorrow after i club with wispy and lest.

Sashimi buffet tmr morning with darling sondy and ct! RAW RAW foodddd yumzzzzz.

Im going out with aaron and nick tonight and they are going to fetch me home in my pumpkin carriage with charming animals.

Clubbing this thursday at butter factory!

its sis's hip hop performance so i guess thts why mom allowed.

Followin week with e judo girls at Zirca... but i have no idea how im gonna lift e curfew.

------------------

These days ive been busy with hanging out with close friends and its been pleasant i shall say.
Thanks for everything :)


I'm heartened by all e concerns... and I'm coping reasonably well.

Forever 21 is the bomb man! it was my favourite shop, still is, always will be. I cant wait for my foreveer 21 birthday voucher! Grass dont forget. mwahahhaa.

yesterday was a crazy day spent at Tampines Ikea and Haji Lane. The arab food is fantastic man. I wanted to drink with the peeps but it was gettin too late.

The SHOPS there are amazinggggg okay! I'm talkin abt the ambience. Soon lee, a beautiful shop, had a kind of fragrance that i was falling in love with so i asked e shop keeper for information. Apparently its from body shop, and its called Dream. I want to get it i must get it!

The East is beautiful... we had treasure hunt around the east and i think i noe the place pretty well by now. The parks and beaches are gorgeously serene.

Why does evryone visit town when theres the East?

I'll revisit those places tonight for some reflective moment.

结束

...Chinese literature is beautiful

The memories... ill cherish... And ill move on.

and for the last time...allow me to say...

Dear boy... Take care...

---------------

I woke up early this mornin at 6 not because i wanted to but because i just did.

Brushed my teeth and washed the bowls for Muji cos shes sick.

OK i got a lil freaked out by my red fingernail colour against the white porcelain plate. Time i remove it.


If u havent already known, I've broken up. SO im single now. Wow.

I received a torrent of messages last night. And it doesn't help that ive lost all my contacts so its hard to reply cos i dono who the msgs are from.

All i wanna say is... I'm really fine. Its definitely not gonna be easy but I'll muster whatever strength i have and be strong to pull through this. 19 years of challenge has trained me so.

I'll allow myself a good cry for i am not superwoman but i will not allow myself to drown in depression.


Time to embrace a new lease of life! No more crying no more losing myself. I'e done my best. Sometimes... "winning isn't evrything... its the experience that counts". I'll cherish the memories and move on.

SMILEEEEEE =)

camp N.U.R.S.E was freakin awesome!

HAHAHA i loved that hilarious fright night when i became psych Woman. FREAKING hilarious.

we ran out of tasks for em to do and times wasnt up yet... so we said.. sing us a song... and they sang Twinkle twinkle little star

time still wasnt up yet and we fumbled... we ran outta things for em to do.

Melisssa was quick to react and wailed," IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT!"

the freshies freaked out once more and performed the mass dance.

I totally couldnt take it. That whole night i was juz laughing all e time.

Awesome night! but the ghosts were damn shagged at the end.But it was a freaking good job! the freshies gave me orgasms when they screamed

Last night was awesome shit! i dont think ive enjoyed that much in a camp before. We had "clubbin" night and evryone went wild and crazy.

Damn clubbing is soo fun! Can't wait for sis's dance performance at butter factory next week.

Terra is awesome! i totally love my OG. they are a fantastic bunch of people. it was rather emotional today durin debriefing when priscilla cried.

Im so proud of em! GOOOO TERRAA- LINGSSS


It was a great camp honestly. Kudos to evryone who contributed to it in one way or another.

Next up, Rag and flag.

Sigh... this h1n1 is really scary. i hope it doesnt mutate into something life-threatening. Dear darling Rachel and Boy... pls take care.

My last goodbye to the world before i head to camp!

I cant wait for.... ahem. HAHAHA. can't say its supposed to be a surprise.

We did a trial today.. and faiz arm-locked and gagged me.

Shit... i hope the freshies dont do that to me. I can't muay thai in the dark!

Im stoned and tired. Goodnight.

Im stoned and v tired...

just came home...

I lost. But i had a great fight. I'll never forget that moment.

i collapsed for some weird reason even though no one was attacking me.

In the last 10 seconds.

My eyes rolled back and i fell to the ground and couldnt move.

It was e first time i was laid on a stretcher, had a nasal cannula for oxygen supply... had my SP02 at 48-64 % ( thts like spo02s of patients who are abt to die)

Dont worry i didnt die or i wont be typing here.

the doc's explanation was odd. He told me that if he werent present to intervene medically, id have died or something. Something of which is not congruent to my believes and experience.. becos ive fainted from over exertion before but illl usually regain my healthy self if i stop exerting... with or without medical intervention.

he gave me my medical parameter readings, knowin tht im a medical student, and yea well maybe his explanation does count if u think abt it logically. Man if my patient had my parameters den id faint from shock.

So bein a patient, has allowed me to understand why some patients react the way they do. i was like a stubborn patient.. insistent on doin without an oxygen supply and on getting out of the stretcher. I told the medic," u exaggerate."


But im really glad... to have fought. It doesnt matter that ive lost... I'm happy that i fought my best and put up a good show. juz a pity back there... but it doesnt matter... i fainted becos i pushed to the limit.. ive tried my best... and thats all that matters.

It was a great experience... my opponent is really nice... even tho she was scoldin vulgarities while we were fighting... She apologised after that... and we wished each other well.


NUS won the challenge trophy! and i think we won mostly because we had more fighters.... pple who were courageous enough to step into the ring. it was freakin awesome when the announcement came on. I love the NUS muay thai team. =)

I must thank evryone for their wonderful support! I'm really thankful for u guyz and it means so much. Thanks alot dearies... for comin down.. the smses... the calls... for the support. Special thanks to my bestie YS for comin down even with crutches... Love u shan! =) THANK U EVRYBODY!


okay i needa sleep. Time to do nursing work in e morning

SHIT I SPOILT MY &*%*&^)(&* mouth GUARD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is the worst day of my life.

The terrible adrenaline rush is perpetual. I am freaking.... freaking... nervous.

and i juz feel... freakin... dono what to say.

The sympathetic drive is soo overpowering that im suffering from the effects of the parasympathetic one... like diarrhoeaing forever.




"It takes a special breed of people to be courageous enough to step into the ring," Darren.

Win or lose... it doesnt matter now... the experience does. I'll never regret this moment.

i shall brace myself.

courage, stay calm, fight with your head, Dont give up, give the crowd a good one.

I am locked up in my home because the door is stuck.

It was the weighin in yesterday.. I'd won by the draw thanks to Zhiwei's lucky hands. I'm automatically in e finals so my fight will be in e afternoon. Luck is on my side!

this morning im supposed to help with the transportation of the ring to the competiton area. Since no five guys are free to help! Unfortunately... the situation at hand is that im locked in here.

mayb i shd fling my hair out of the window hoping that someone would climb up it and rescue me.



i needed a night to stop my emotions from clouding my judgment.. i juz want u to noe tht.. I love u.. very much...whatever happens.

I am

scared stiff

about whats to come this saturday.

Im glad to have my close friends with me for support.

okay going for weighing in. Ciao. xoxo

Hey Freshies dear people!

I've been so used to writing a blog post for the freshies on our orientation camp blog. I stayed up till 2 am last night to update it. If ur curious, here's the link: http://nurses-rocks.blogspot.com

there was a senior-junior meetup session where the seniors, US, interacted with freshies. I am so proud to announce that i am a senior. Took me a year to advance to this stage. Please applaud.

It was really fun! i can't wait for campN.U.R.S.E 2009 to happen! I'm excited to be an OGL with Pammy and Adora. mwahahha

I think ill need alot of chicken essence to keep me awake and stone-free.

I WILL ALWAYS STONE WHEN IM TIRED and its somethign that i cannot control!!!

After the meetup session and camp meeting, I spent a special evening with my man tou bun by the sea, under the starry night sky.

It was the most beautiful moment of my life. I am so in love with the pig whos also a monkey.. whos also a lil man tou bun =p <3 X infinity

MAJOR EVENT COMING THIS SATURDAY!!!!!

SMU sent a mass email to their studs to support their muay thai team. Why can't NUS do e same. ok juz jk... i dont want anyone to see me fall flat on e ground.

my muay thai comp this saturday! Im damn scared by the way. Just writing about it gives me that jittery feeling.

Pumpkin soup for lunch! yay! better pump up on carbos. Muji will be damn happy to see me fat.

No one can resist this... no one!

Haiz i feel so bad. I love Mel Fong! E hottie who always laughs at me!

Ytd was one of e best days ever... Id spent a day with dear Loraine where we had our long-awaited Suki-Sushi buffet. (only there for e sashimi... that and only that)
I bought myself a bottle of Versace perfume which smells like heaven... it smells even better at home! And the most beautiful umbrella in the world... lacy with gorgeous illustrations that takes u to another world with just a glance. We got her air tickets... drank bubble tea and looked for watches! which she could only find a suitable one after i left and OH MY how gorgeous it is. Even fie Japan... my most favourite stall on planet Earth sells it.

Anythng from fie Japan is the bomb.

In the evening, i made my way to muay thai grading. Entered a fighting gym, which was exploding with buff, sweaty and tattooed men.

Im scared about my fight. I really am quite.

YS got a bad sprain... I'm gonna bring along some delightful dishes to visit her today.. if shes not gone for her camp that is.

Sashimi buffet on two days within a week. What more can Shuffy ask for?

Sashimi buffet again nx mon. She is in paradise.

My bangkok trip is cancelled. No more shopping. if only mom would allow me to buy more clothes

I can't emphasize how much i love designing. It feeds my palate. Been a long time since I've done it.

And muay thai. And Friends who are leavin e country and some comin back.

I'm not thinkin straight im too tired.

All i want is to drown in a world of sashimi but tht dream is nv realized :(

HAHAHAAAA

today is one of e best days of my life!

the day i savour

FREEDOM! *says it the melvin way*

Was rushing through work in e morning... and listening to oldies and indie songs...

Then rushed to sch to hand in my assignment and meet the girls whom ive dearly missed for a longg longg time.

As always it was a cracky day... by cracky i mean we cracked up alot...

We saw Angie off for e last time... Jade too before they embark on their journeys to another world. A fateful evening.

And i saw Loraine! been a logn time since i last saw her! ive missed her so. Missed em all so much!

I'm gonna help e Ocommers out for the nursing camp.

Great! i loveee evrything about this holiday! even though its jus been a day. But its goin so well im in paradise.

Tmr.. i shall get lost in my world! before heading off for trg in e evening.

Finally... i feel life in me!

I'm gonna organise a northerners supper treat.

I HAVE CHOSEN DEATH
for sleeping 3 hours in e afternoon when my case study is half way done.

I've just noticed the intensity of my undone workload as i lunched away with Daddy and sis. It was a v special lunch.

The realization that i am actually, literally Free hasn't exactly hit me until today's afternoon.

Once this case study and lil bits of undone report is done... I am

Free.

Tmr Mon at 5 pm... i shall smile in jubilation.

Wow i can finally hang out with Arch, JO, Gerthrines finally gonna be back from London... Swimming with wispy and pinching her nose.... driving arnd with whoever offers supper treat...
Walk to my Ct's houseeee... Have another tracgers outing yayy...Stone at some cafe with a gorgeous book and writing a diary...my favourite!... etc. etc.

The list is giving me an adrenaline rush!

But before wondering to Liberty land... I must complete what i need to complete first.

WOO

And btw, I'm temporarily phoneless cos it spoilt along with the unread messages of yesterday.

i wish ud see it.

Clinicals have ended which is abit sad bcos i think i kinda enjoyed interacting with patients. When i retire one day i shall do community nursing which is alot like voluntary work... its one of e most meaningful things arnd. AND I WANT TO be a psychiatric nurse. I want to read people;s minds.

Sigh... im gona have to miss shopping with wispy and lestine tmr cos of case study. I hope ill be able to finish it on time!

the polyclinic experience was good... i mean its a totally diff experience altogether... ive learnt alot of stuff... tht is prolly not extremely relevant to nursing.

Humility is key. It goes a long way. =)

Its nice to know that u can be there to help these people in their trying times.

Nursing is awesome

and dont ever criticise my choice for this course.... ENOUGHHH of asking "why this course" with disdain.

Theres more to it than u can ever imagine.
and id never av chosen anything else for the world.

Months of hard work (including studying period) is about to end tmr.

Not really. I am going to fill my weekends with assignment writing before handing it in on Monday.

Im not done with chionging, sadly.

How will life be like after evrything ends? WOW i cant imagine how a break might be like after months of toiling. I really can't.

Good luck to me for presentation tmr.

I won't forget... pls don't forget...

hello grass
hello mat

sometimes i stare down at a grass mat and marvel at how meaningful it looks.

The tea leaves are gone.

-----
if u can decipher the above, you'd have solved the world's greatest mystery.

-----------

if anything... i feel embarassed. and i wish to apologize on ur behalf.

----- busy busy with nursing and muay thai. i think i prefer the hospital although its more stressful. oh wells at least i learn anyway.

I will never forget my experience in ttsh. it was e best experience on earth. Thanks to the most amazing preceptor and team.

luckily I'm immune to Hep B

nevermind .

:/

sometimes... sighz.. try...



sighz... just swallow it

Yesterday was the best day of my life!

It was the last day of workin in my acute-setting hospital. Thinking back on all that tough times... it was worth it. I was surprised that the ward staff.. even sister thought of us well. It was amazing having a personal evaluation with my ci and a sister, they have given me the confidence that i need to continue with this amazing journey as a nurse.

We bade our goodbyes to the staff with much love and hugs. I had to see my patients for e last time before we left. As i stepped into the cubicle for the very last time as their nurse, i felt a surge of emotions. I walked up to them and stroked their hands...

they may never have recognised me, never could see me, was never aware that they'd said thank you to me every morning, never knew that id been their nurse... But i feel blissed to know that I was given the priviledge to care for them in this trying time of their lives. Such is the honorable thing about the job as a nurse.

It was emotional as i stepped out of the cubicle to know that i could never reli be there for em as a nurse anymore. ...I pray that she'll be able to take it and stay strong for whats to come.

----------------------------------------

Muay thai at night after sleeping in the train for hours. It was on purpose that i took the long route.

It was fun but a lil scary.

We headed out for dinner with melvin and garrick, the two comic characters. Melvin's car is awesome!

WOW my work isn't over but ive packed my weekend with activities! my case study is going to suffer.

But I love the activities .. keeps me busy! This is exciting!

Siti spoke to me about self-definition. Yea baby yea!!!!

Sigh... What a terrific day!

JUST three more days before ill be out of ttsh!!!!

haiz.. theres still 3 more days.

Come Friday i shall celebrate =D

No more concussing on bed. No more drowsiness from exhaustion.

---before headin to another posting the following week. According to rachy baby, polyclinics are slack.