i was juz thinking to myself yesterday afternoon after id received news about my passing of the i-am-bound-to-fail test. I mean.. after lookin at my performance on tuesday afternoon... i knew i was gonna fail from the apalled look of Jeff and the disapproving look of Sandra. I went home and cried as if it was the end of the world. Bcos i genuinely thot i was the stupidest person in e world. A simple practical test. and i could fail it. i tot back on all my failures to back that up... but failed to counter that with my achievements.

Until yesterday. id passed. For some miraculous reason. for a moment i couldnt believe that U08______ was my number. OH but i confirmed it with my matric card.it was then that i started to become a lil more rationale. U noe how they like to say that the onlooker is always the best observer of the situation.

As i noticed how disappointed my friends looked and felt... (for those who had failed), I thot to myself that despite the grades.. they are definitely not losers. One of my friends... felt like she isnt fit to be a nurse. Far from it i thot. Ive seen her genuine passion in this profession. She is one who values health of others has shown her unbound care to pple around her.. does not discriminate (something that i think is emulated within the nursing profession itself.. as we treat each and evry patient with the same dignity and respect that they deserve regardless of race, status, religion etc.).

Right there and then , i just wanted to give her a hug to tell her that.. i do not doubt her capabilities and that i believe that she will be a good nurse.. whatever the theoretical grades. Ive always looked up to her.
it was then that i suddenly see myself in my friend on tuesday evening. Did i tell myself the same thing that day when i felt the way she felt? Why was it that i could do that to others but i couldnt do e same for myself?I am not a bad nurse. No matter how bad my theoretical grades are. i have been having the attitude to keep moving.. i've never given up... even though there were times when i felt like quitting. On the day of e nursing interview... i recalled my answer to the question: what is ur greatest fear for the future. "To give up in pursuing my passion"
Shd i give up one day... id put all those countless of times of acheivements of struggling to survive in vain. Is it worth it?I was here... because I genuinely wanted to be here. Id put this as first choice. Not for money, fame or glamour. But for the very passion in its line of work... to care.