Wednesday, May 31, 2006

so we went out ytd after judo and we had so much fun.
Sondra has got amazing balance..yea im like totally sure.
HAH but im the one whos got the best balance!!!!!!!!!!!!!! take that sondra!!!!!!

Shucks theres that stupid judo camp im going to diee zeee most horrible death. cos the only response i got when i asked if itll be tough or fun for that matter... garfield boy suggested we bring an MC along just in case we needed an excuse to back out.

okay i get it.

Shucks ive been comin home so late at night so frequently that i think my mom will explode if i do it again. then ill never be allowed to go out at night ever again and thats just amazingly terrible beyond anything.
How hot is that?! Not.

but its alwayz so fun going out at night. Even though i noe its dangerous but still...i can pray about it and evrything will be fine.

OH shcuks...grading's comin up!. and im seriously gona screw the whole thing i swear i will.

cos i tend to fall along with the person whenever i throw someone. and im sure thats not exactly what ull call a judo master-ish move.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Yo peepzoes!!

Life's been reli hot!!!
we had extra chem lecture today.
i was wlakin out of my condo when i saw this cj guy doin e same...but he was walkin towards the alternate route!!! Which i was dyin to know how to take...so i followed him!!!
It was gettin reli scary cos i had to watch when he would drop but i was afraid i might miss him and itll just be e end of me.
The bus took like a horribly long time!!! and when i had to transit and alight..it was alredi 9!!! I was soooo dead...

I mean like u totally cant blame mEEEEEEEEEEEEE....i was lost okay?! so i stood at the bus stop...wonderin how im gona barge into the lecture theatre and embarass myself and how im going to apologise to the lecturer.

Yea i was simply stoning...WHEN SUDDENLY!!!!!! this black car pulled up in front of me..and nurul stepped out of it and called out to me!! and asked me to hop in!

OMG she saved my life!!!!!!!! I couldnt be happier. guess she was late as well but at least she had her mom to fetch her in a car...and it happened that there was this other girl who was also late for the 9 o clock lecture..and nurul asked her to hop in as well!!

it was so hot!
I love nurul Omg!!

We had to do some pw survey thingy after the whole lecture...i mean it was pretty scary alright...walkin up to ppl askin if they're willing to do a survey regarding smoking. We were seriously short of smokers to do our survey...so when i heard some balestier hill sec guyz talkin about how they wana buy some cigars to smoke....i walked up to em to ask if they'd like to take the survey.
Their pretty frenly pple...and funny as well..and the guy who took my survey looked so extremely like joshua ang id thot it was actually him.
when we were done...this guy seemed to have called his friend through his hp to ask him to get down and do the survey for some cj girls. Overly helpful i guess.

newayz...Its the great singapore sale!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i went to fox ytd and omg...i bought this gorgeous top ANd its BARE BACK!!!!!!!!!!

its the hottest top of the century i simply adore it! in fact it looks like the one ashlee simpson wore durin the 'shadow' MTV

and i bought some maybelline eyeliner...it does great wonders to the eyes!

Ive been up to alot of stuff these days!!!!!! I cant wait to go out with u peeps!!

shucks stupid judo tmr. Believe it or not
*yawnz* i think im gona go sleep. I mean u totally cant blame me cos id slept at 1 am last night...shudderin and stoning in front of e computer.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Its been awhile since ive posted any pictures. t27 is like a picture-taking-obssessed class so it wont hurt to share some that we took.

haha

exasperated from GPP! This is how stressed we are!

being mad

me and ly da babe!

ly and me

from the left, ly, me and les! :)

Its break day today!!!!!!!!! which means noooooo school!!!!! Sadly, ive got gp exams to study for. I cant wait to gooo out with my mates durin the hols!!!!!!!!!

ly and nelly are gg for that campbridge attachment thingy which is super kewl!!! ur like given the opportunity to carry out experiments in a college in London! but their main purpose is jsut to go there and shop or something...they'd alredi planned to skip lessons and go to town instead! err i dont think ill be going...itll be fun but im such a guai-gia i wouldnt wana break ne rules! I was speakin to howard on msn ytd and omg hes the funniest person alive!!!! hes such a random slut!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Like what the hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mom was grumbling abt evrything all mornin and oh geez! shes not gona allow contacts anymore and she wants my hair reli short!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quelle horreur!! (or whateva u spell it in latin)

Okay so im gona walk arnd lookin like that geek in my ez-link card. Horror beyond anything. Sometimes i wake up, hearts racin...from a nightmare of havin to cut my hair reli short. Yea that sooo is a nightmare..and i havent only gotten it once.ive gotten it a few times!!!!!!!!! so now my nightmare's gona become reality. This is just so sick

well at least im gettin better. School makes it worse tho. Not exactly ur typical happiest-girl-in-the-world person. Sometimes i just wish i could take a break from all of these for a moment and spend time with my bestest mates to forget all my troubles. Even so, it might only pull me down further...since evrything that happens does. Mayb i shd just stay at home and sleep.

hah at least im improvin. few weeks down the road ill be back to me and my normal self!!!! cant wait for that. I want me back!

Just dont worry too much about me...ill be fine! im gettin better which is a good thing. But i thank uall!!! the smses, emails, chats, tags! U guyz are the reasons why im gettin better!!! Totally love yall so much xoxox

Friday, May 19, 2006

HI
im in my room isnt this so hot!
A laptop in my room!!!!!!!! what could be better than bein in the comfort of my air-conditioned room with a bed beside it!!!!!!!!!! gorgeous like totally!!!

My wonderful class.


sometimes im okay and happy and springy..sometimes im not.

"i can resist anything but temptation" isnt this such a funny phrase.
Or maybe its just me bein amused by evrything

Just ytd..there was this bee flying around me and i got so scared and frightened i dodged too much and fell over, flinging my table over as well...And the class was laughing in fits.

Ive sooo have torn my ligament cos of judo. I do hope it cures tmr cos there'l be a stupid test

Life's been so interesting. I just dont have all e time to rant abt how colourful life is in CJ

Thursday, May 18, 2006

the tears..they stream down my cheeks. I live in so much fear. i dont know how to face the world anymore. The world's out to get me. I didnt do anything. but the world's out to get me. The world is cruel.
I fear so much now. under all that farcade, lies the cruel n dark reality.
I didnt do anything...so why? Why evryone's out to get me...to hiss to push and toss around.


im neva gona see sunlight again.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

i canot take this anymore.
Ive been drifting in and out of depression for the past few weeks and no amount of self-comfort or whateva can help. I sooo hate life.

And it isnt helping that the pile of homework and assignments is increasing and my tests grades are reli screwed. Ive been gettin headache so often evryday cos im alwayz wonderin why and bcos im so stressed up there in the head. I cant get out of this. Im trying...I study at home and yet my time management sucks so bad im becomin reli unproductive and i reli cant take this anymore. And its not just bcos of that. Nothings so simple.

Im stuck..i cant get out. I want me back...i cant help but cry. I cant do anything. I hate this. I abhor all of whats happening. I cant stand it anymore.
Whats the world comin to. Sometimes i think ive recovered...only to slump into depression the next day again. And ive given up and have came to a horrible conclusion that ill neva recover from this depression. Or mayb i will...but that will take a reli long time....and that will also mean a reli long time of sufferin and pain and torture.

I wana help myself. But i cant. I dont have that ability. im so sick of evrything. So very sick.
Im a very stupid girl

Thursday, May 11, 2006

oh geesh sports day was so hectic..hot, humid, stuffy, crowded. i suffered from a major headache
and my throat still hurts a great deal.

Floorball was extremely exciting...i wasnt in the school team cos i gave my place up for nurul who wanted to. IN the end..i was just a spectator....until this team who was sorting out their players needed 3 more pple in the team...and just pointed to me and asked if i could play for them cos they needed players or itll be a walkover.

so i did. even though i was playin for some other class. It was an awesome game though! we lost haha

in the end, i became a part of the class team for the last match..together with the other j2s. omg i kept falling i was in such a mess. And the senior was so aggressive cos we were losing...that he lost his balance too...and pushed me..and i fell to the ground...and now my knees sufferin from abrasions. SO yea...the usual...showering became a chore cos the wound would give me the most sizzling sensation when touched with water.

Haha we lost again. Geez perhaps im jinxed.

Franchesca was like...u were all over the place!

Ben was reli thoughtful! he knew i was sufferin from a sore throat cos of my msn nick and he asked eelin to pass me a bottle of lemon juice with honey he'd made. it tasted reli good.
still, im wonderin how he'd manage to stuff that lemon in.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

YOYOYOYO!!!!!!!!

omg this is sooo random.

i swear im turnin crazy

AHAHHAA

Monday, May 08, 2006

yea like evrything has an end. so here's the end.

well a new start to a new beginning. i shd look on the bright side right. Yea im doin tht now. but i need God now so bad. i reli do. im sufferin and tearing. and i don wana remain like this i dont think i can take the pain.
It was all my fault. Why did i become such a greedy pig? and now ive lost. I shdnt have. shdnt have done that. I wish i could say sorry..it was all my fault. but i dont think ull eva speak to me again. and it hurts me so. and why did u do it? why du wana do it. i dont blame u though. ill treasure the memories.
but i guess its for the better. I needa concentrate on gettin my studies right instead of thinking abt all of these unneccessaries.

so here goes nothing. Yeap i guess.

Friday, May 05, 2006

IM going crazy.
I thought abt it the whole day till my head hurt so much cos i was thinking too much.

Im seriously going mad...im not thinking straight. whats wrong with me? why am i like this? im hurting so many pple...including myself. why cant i remain normal instead of hopping around.

i cant believe its even reflected in my dream. shucks my headache is back. Ive screwed myself..my life my grades my everything. how i wish all of these would stop. why hadnt i listened to God. or perhaps i interpreted his signs wrongly. but something told me tht he meant for me to stop on tht fateful day.

Im suffering now...from so much pain and i dont know what abt. Im just so confused. I must stop. i have to. or ill continue sufferin. Have to stop. I cant take this anymore my head hurts from so much thinking.

ive screwed evrything. with my own hands. i have to Stop all these and be normal again...the way i used to be. and i cant do this alone. i need God's help. but will he? this is not easy. i cant take this anymore.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Ive got to admit that my life has evloved to becoming more interesting ever since i stepped into CJ. Its as though im on a roller coaster...sometimes im up sometimes im down..and sometimes my heart leaps into my mouth. err...the latter's a metaphor...just in case u might be mistaken and faint in front of ur computer thinking that im some alien whos come to invade ur planet.

but i cant let all of these affect me. Ive got to push on. I have so many wonderful classmates. I love em all. hooray for t27!

Yea..and like u can totally imagine the state im in now. Im totally injured like all over. And somehow ive caused a senior to fracture her collar bone. My knuckles are sufferin from abrasions and they cant be touched with water...cos then id have that salt-on-an-open-wound sensation. One of my finger suffered a cut and it was bleeding. My thighs are aching a great deal. My Arm is twisted. One more shoulder throw and ill not be able to write anymore. my left ankle is sufferin a minor twist as well. Theres a lil bruise on my lower back. The pain's gone anyway.

Worst of all...i cant seem to throw anybody. evrytime i attempt to throw somebody..i get thrown instead. And sparring with that black belt master was not reli the best experience. He's as sturdy as a rock. He was givin in to me for the first few mins..but after that...he probably had a change of mind and decided to be ferocious. and i got thrown the second i stood up from a fall. And its not just any ordinary fall...its the flinging sort of fall in which u land with a real sick thud. And like...i yelp evrytime i fall. And tell me please....have u ever heard of any yelpings or screams in a ring before? Like i bet ull say no. Thats why im an embarrassment to the Judo community. And like i forget to break fall almost evry time.

I cant even throw sondria..Not even once. Argh. I hate judo i reli do. i cant seem to get anything right. Im not agressive enuff. And pple keep telling me that if were to tell others that im from judo, they'd find it hard to believe cos i look too gu-niang.

Sadly..im as weak as i look. Im not agressive enuff!

sigh.