i felt much better today... apart from a lil splitting headache durin Bio prac.. i think i stood too long or something... Damn im as fragile as glass. And got tht stupid headache in the library so i went home to sleep like a pig.

STUPID !!!!!!! why did i get sick.. skipping trg as a result and now im as weak as ever while evryones as strong as bulls. SKipped MAss PE too!!!! when i needa train for that stupid relay thing. STUPID PLS!

YEs and STUPID PLS! random we had to deal with life specimen for BIO SPA..crickets.. Muz be mr Ho's idea! Mr Ho was kind enough to allow yx to get e crickets for me and victor helped me set up e stuff.. so basically...I didnt touch e crickets. but it was v nightmar-ish. JUZ LOOKIN AT IT STRUGGLE MAKES MY HAIR STAND!!!!!!! my fear for insects is that bad. AND what the hell... random guyz decided that scarin a poor innocent soul like me.. (ahem).. was fun and it amused em to see me yelping and screaming for help when they released the big ugly cricket onto my stuff.

Damn im tired and zonked out... but i guess i gotta do at least something simple like stayin up for him to pass him his pressie on his bday... after how it hurt him.

OK... time for me to get crazy. Ready? 1, 2, 3...

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

U SOOOOOO cant believe this i swearrrrrr i dieddddddddddd entering "Diva".. the accessory shop... ITS THE HOTTESTTTTTTT SHOP ON THE PLANET I SWEARRRR

I ALMOST FAINTED SEEIN ALL THOSE BEAUTIFUL NECKALCES THEY WERE SOOOO DAMN BEAUTIFUL I JUZZZZZZZZZ FAINTED AT E SIGHT OF EMMMMM

okay... its official.. DIva is my favourite accessory shop. Forver 21 and ZAra are my favourite clothes shop.

I GOT JELLYBEANSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YAYAYYAYAAYYAYAYYA
i entered paradise again after a damn longggggg time... since i hardly had any time at all to go to town for months. CANDY EMPIRE!!!!!!! the hottest candy SHop on planet earth.

DAMN they hav every flavour ok! its almost like bertie bott's every flavour beans from harry potter. this lil bottle. soooo cuteeeeeee!!!

I saw e SINS shop cos i was eyeing on all e beautiful chocos.. and tried to see e name of e shop and its the shop that Vince talked about! WOW!

OKay im damn tiredddddddd.. FASTER COME HOME PLS!!!!!!! IM GG TO FAINT FROM FATIGUE ALR!!!!!!!!!!

I shall be a whiny bitch for a bit here.. bear with me.

Shall i emphasize on how this is e FIRST TIME IM DOIN SOMETHING SOOOO DARN HORRIBLY BCOS I MISINTERPRETED BOTH ECONS ESSAY QNS!!!!!!! SHall i emphasize on how i got e world's biggest
F grade. This is e first time in my life im gettin an effin F!!!!!!!! I am like sooooo pissed with myself
well but here's e worse part..apparently mom spoke to my form tcher abt me and my judo and how i havent been studyin much bcos of it when its sooo not true!
And now ms Lim has agreed to speak to the judo tcher to stop me from gg for trg regularly shd my CT grades be bad!!! OMG ill nvr be selected for team nationals that way!

AND NOW... Thanks to the MY fat little EFF

I can kiss goodbye to judo...my lil fire and passion.

funny how one careless mistake can ruin ur life

OMG

:'(

okok since evryones talkin about e camp i shall rant about it too.

But i shall start with CCA judo trials...

It was superbly embarassing cos sir asked me to play with yimin and unfortunately... i landed too hard on my front... hitting my head as a result and got a heartburn. My heart stopped beating i SWEAR i could feel it! couldnt breathe.
And so i was making weird moaning noises while evryone includin e J1s stared and wondered what had happened. SOOOO EMBARASSING PLSSSSS

I tried to shut up but that stupid moaning wont stop.. cos my heart wont pump and i was panting at e same time... so weird toad-y noises came out. Embarassment beyond anything.

Judo camp rocked seriously... even tho i bet evryone came out with tons of bruises and abrasions.. aches and all.

I love e team! U guyz rock my sock.

We trained together.. cried together.. sweat and bled together..
e bonding we had durin e camp was seriosuly awesome. I love em all so much.

all in all.. it was a pretty inspiring camp.
distinguishing between 'hoping to win' and 'wanting to win'
I guess it seriously woke us up..i noe its hard with those strong opponents who have got much more experience than us but.. i guess thru e trgs ive had in judo.. ive learnt that nothign is impossible... so long as u set ur mind to it. Like the fact that i nvr thot id finish those set of trg but i did and blacked out in the end..and the fact tht id nvr in my wildest dream thot id win Gold.. but i did..
Thats why i love judo so much... it taught me so much about what i want in life.
Hoping to win is stupid... We want to win.

Today is e most unfortunate day of my life. Someone must have been cursing me!!!

First.. i blacked out durin trg... when i havent blacked out for a damn long time.. What the hell happened to me.
I skipped one hopping lap cos i fell as i made a turn since i couldnt see anything while evryone hopped away merrily like little frogs.

Then as i walked out of cj... 966 drove past.
I was super patient..and waited for the nx one which took a century to come... and wen it finally came... I looked to the sky and thank the gods above... and den it drove PAST me again... cos it was too crowded.

Thank u v much mr. 966 bus driver. I cant wait to pop a thumb into ur sockets.

SO zhenyi, max and i were cursing our asses off till we had no more ass left.

and we decided to go to SJI to get the 960 since the waiting time is shorter. wich we did... and as we were makin our way to the raffles town club bus stop... a gorgeous 960 drove past.

I fainted.

And den my hp ran outta batt...

And when we finally got ourselves boarded onto a 960 bus... Vince said i shd alight and transit cos 960 takes forever to get there.

Very hot indeed.

Anyway.. i could study productively.. even tho the mac's music was retardedly playing away... But yay! i completed half of e wksht.

today is an accomplishing day cos i overcame a thrillion obstacles and i completed half of my bio wksht. Is that hot or what?

Okokok

This is like... u noe? whateva. I hav like TONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OF WORK TO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

isnt this juz hot?!

NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

i didnt go for trg today cos mom didnt allow me to. ANd yes im gettin monthly lenses back. GOODBYE NERDY PANTS!!!!!!!!!! im like insulting myself

Yea and once again ive missed out on a million stuff. SHIT PE tmr. IM gona Stone there like a rock for a full hour. I hate games day honestly they bring no meaning to life!

Physical trg is e only thign thats decent in PE i swear. ok maybe its cos i can run and am hopeless with anything else... ok mayb apart from judo.

OKay i cant wait to get back to judo. TO SLAM ALL MY TROUBLES AWAY!!!!!!!!!! BAM BAM BAM MWAHAHAHHAHHAA... MAXIMISE THE EFFECTTTTTTTTT... Im gona morotae the world or prolly do a painful makikomi or a landing OSOto. judo judo judo

Dont read this its a waste of time.

Enough is enough.

im never speaking to anyone in e house ever again.

sometimes i juz wish ill nv live past this year. I noe that sounds stupid but i find myself happy about that thought...and im pretty shocked at that too. I wish i was nv born..den ill stop gettin all these nonsense in all areas of my life cos ill prolly not hav em in e first place. These tears are awfully distracting...

I cant live pass that anymore... Cant live past what happened 2 years back.. all that trauma.. i cant take it if it happens again... they'll disown me this time.. I know itll happen again... I wont do well... cos it alwayz happens. Happens too often till im pretty numbed alr. Look at what happened to CTs. I studied reli hard for it and thought i was prepared but I read e qn wrongly for Econs. And i noe im gg to fail for GP cos i wrote a crapped up essay. And my chem... I didnt have time. I don wish to get my grades cos i noe il be screwed further...and im alr so screwed to the point tht i reli cant take it anymore... those watching eyes of theirs. Like she said..they've never trusted me.

I come home and it alwayz feels like a prison. and sometimes i juz dread going home id rather study in e lib with a close friend. Those watching eyes of theirs...and their spy. There is juz no warmth evrytime i step home. I dont like those quarrels... i get insomia all e time...i cant sleep at night bcos im so troubled.. u think i like being rude but i dont.. i hate being rude to em.. but i juz couldnt take it anymore...Perhaps sis is more open about her stress and stuff and openly talk to em about it but i talk about my probs in my diary. Biased.

and all the other nonsense... i cant even pin point to what they are... but i dun understand why ive been this depressed for a very long time and it hasnt reli gone off...I reli cant pin point it out at all. Its all an acumulative effect.

I'll be fine really... Dont worry about me... i can handle this.. ill be ok reli. Thank u for ur concerns and stuff... I guess evryone has their moments. Ill be ok. =) i will reli. It will go off sooner or later.

AH sugar!

training today.. im so gonna die...havent trained in two weeks! im gonna die. i hope i dont faint. I miss e judokas!!!!!!!!

And yea.. CTs finally over. Gosh i think this is one of e only exams that i could sleep proper hours.. perhaps id prepared beforehand =)

but i noe im gna fail econs and gp. Which is soo not hot.

Yay! gonna meet my babies tmr!!!!!! cant wait u guyz blow my troubles away. Muackzy muackz

I sense trouble brewing...and i dont mean to...i didnt do anything...ive tried my best..but u left me with no choice...u wanted it.. so suffer e consequences... over the weirdest reasons.