My life is diminishin to a point where theres none at all. NO life they call it.

EVRYDAY im Studyin and stressin myself up.

is that sucky or is that juz sucky?

woo chg of words.. id usually go like "isnt that juz hot"
Im a Live example of how school and exams can change a person

See? im using sucky instead of hot now. Behold. Not.

Im reli tired.. reli reli tired. I think the only time when i feel like im back to being me... is the time when im on e fone or catchin time with old time besties like Arabel.. Chloe.. Jojo..dadada... which unfortunately can only take place for a super short while... cos ya.. studies again.

Im juz draggin myself evryday ..praying hard to make it through each day. its that sucky. IM juz so tired i hate school.

as i was walkin home along the lonely, remote pathway... i finally felt peace.. something i havent felt in a long while as i reminisced about the meaning of life as i usually would whenever i stone ever since it happened...cos i guess it traumatised me alot..

The only reason that was ever remotely....bright or worth living for..some months or even weeks ago... was i guess... my CCA...I guess it was e only thing that made me feel alive was like after trg... or juz after spending time with old time mates. I guess it gave me life..and hope.. at a point when i felt despondent about evrything else... I wanted to prove to e world... tht i was not juz wat they think i am... brainless.. bimbotic superficial nothingness. Or mayb its cos of e fact tht id been ponderin too much about my life... and harped too much on e imperfections... I prayed to God..and told him how imperfect i was... i hated myself... hated my life... until God changed it all.. a few weeks ago by making something happen... something id never dream of gettin... Juz so i could finally feel useful and special again. Id never forget that... could never forget tht moment

Id better get back to studying. Haha dont worry about me im ok... :)

Im tryina prepare myself for that thought... cos i noe itll happen eventually...inevitably...
juz so when it happens... it wouldnt be so painful.

hulo.

I won a Gold for Kyu Grade. it was super unexpected. I thot id die in my first match or something. I mean afterall it was e first judo competition of my life! Goshy gosh. i guess i owe it to alot of pple who tried to soothe me while i was in super stressed mode. Evryone was sooo wonderful! Ding is so lovely :D great job anyway u totally got me there.

But its quite an acheivement for someone like me. SO allow me to rant like a gundu here for a while. Gosh i guess i hav to continue training harder and harder from now on... competitions gona get much tougher with all e other belters comin in.

seriously...ill never forget about what happened on sunday...i guess it meant alot to me. afterall its my first competition..and first competitions mean alot. I cannot stress how much it has impacted me... haha wow im gettin emo... i mean it isnt everyday i get national Gold medals u noe...im not as mighty as yimin.

YAY i love cjudo! u guyz rock my sock. xoxox

nothign in my life makes sense

rendered useless.

KYU GRADE

OMg i seriously have no life.

studies judo studies judo studies judo.. thats basically whats been going on

AND KYU GRADE COMPETITION IS GONA BE HELD NX WEEK SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its sooooooooooooooo extremely nerve-wrecking. I hope i wont fluster.

i think id be soo scared ill faint at "Hajimeh" or is this how u spell it?

I have like 4 tests next week. How hot is that. Not.

WISH me luck!!!!!!!! nx week is a terribly terrifying week.

Oh ya and theres Cross country which im definitely going to walk even tho im in competitive thanks to YX. HAHA ive got an excuse!!!!! Ive got Judo competition so i cant risk injuring myself. Isnt that hot?!

And tmr there's CIP! garung guni thingy. YES its all for charity. and cip hours i might add. I bet il reach home at night. Which is so not hot cos i needa study.

I havent been online for as long as whateva. How hot is that.

IM like so random tonight. Check out the thousands of new bruises i have when u see me at schooL!

they are like lil mosquito bites... i totally live up to my name... Abused child.