Bye

Today is honestly the worst day of my life.

One whole day of mental torture and pressure and i cant take it nemore.

I was just sufferin silently to myself and ponderin and rethinkin and feelin disheartened and all..when all i wana do is just to run out of the class and neva come back agen

in the midst of all these, pple around me are grumbling stomping their feet, frowning..when they're results are a thousand times better than mine.

Luke tht Jedi..(yea right) kept grumbling and chanting beside me ALL DAY or probabbly singing thanks to the three masketeers of yesterday;s party. Yea and guess wot he was grumbling abt...his humans when he had all of his other subs ALL FULL DISTINCTION!!

right into my ear the WHOLE DAY!

OMG SHUT UP!!!!!! WILL SHE?!!]

IM gona break DOWN HERE!!! and there u are chanting agen

WHY IS EVRYONE CHANTIN AROUND ME
I CANT TAKE it anymore!!

wot do u pple noe?? all of u have distinctions and stuff all ova..ME? 1 distinction!

And ive neva done so badly eva. Not Even when i didnt study much last year.

Wot is this? another setback evrytime i get a paper.

Whats the point with harboring any hope at all
U pple SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop ur grumblings!! bcos if u are grumbling and sayin how much ur gone fail and stuff.. Dont u eva think abt me?? IF ur gona die, oh then i most probably belong to the 18th level of hell, dont u think?

Ur like givin me the message tht im supposed to jump down from some 20 story building or sumfin. Ur urgin me to. U dont understand.

U pple are just chanting there and stuff

Me?? yea.. Honestly i wana die.

I cant take it. Especially the last period..me still bein sick and all tht and all the pple around me discussing their grades..How alienated i felt. HOw disheartened and horrible i was feeling?? NO one will understand this pain!

This is PRELIMS!

I cant take this. I am so tortured mentally. WHY is evrything soo horrible. Another setback after another.
even my cca! HOw much i contributed in track..U have no idea how much mental n physical torture ive been through this past four years. And i only got an A2!

I dont even belong in my class full of geniuses. Evryone around me is getting the a1 flow. I am gettin peanuts.

I was doin so well earlier this year. Now pple who were behind me are way UP there better than me like a ton.

I dont deserve my E1 frenz. Their all geniuses. I feel like a nitwit with them Esp when their talkin abt grades.

evrytime u pple are tlakin abt grades it tortures me so much Like i just wana explode and die.

Its like ill neva be close to em anymore...what i have planned for JC and stuff..they'll be goin to good JCs while ill be sufferin in a JC full of punks and noisy pple and alienated once more like when i was in E5

MY frenz are gona be so unreachable.

Ive ruined evrything. MYself My evrything. nobody eva thinks abt how i feel when they say how horrible their grades are.

I feel terrible. I have lost faith in all aspects of life. Like i can neva achieve anything good in life anymore. Im not an achiever im a failure. This is perhaps now a turnin point in my life Bcos i have no faith to work hard anymore.

U dont noe how hard im goin through all this and ur yelling at me.

NOw i have no idea how i am gona face my parents. They are sure to punish me by not allowing me to enter a JC

I will neva wana enter a poly.

I wana just fall and fall and neva come back. cryin will not help bcos the mucus will just be running and running and its uncomfortable. but i wish i could stop crying.

This will be MY LAST POST!!! I repeat MY LAST POST until after my O lvls.

I will not be blogging agen until after NOvember.

BYE BYE.