I have a testimony to make!
I havent been sleeping much for the past two days. or at least.. for only 2 hours a day consecutively.
On the day prior to the two days, my alarm clock didnt wake me up on Immuno day... which caused me to have to take the exam without studying some of the chapters... but i had alot of rest. Now do i realise its for the better. When i'd set my alarm clock before the exam day to allow 2 hours grace of sleep, i remembered mouthing a small word of prayer, "sorry Father but i have to do this"
It was a knowledge in my heart that told me that torturing myself this way was not God's plans for me.
Den, my phone was mysteriously turned off. I couldnt have turned it off on my own subconsciously because my phone was placed far away from my bed... and i never had the habit of turning it off because it is rather cumbersome to. it couldnt have gone outta batt because i was charging it. i couldnt have turned it off before going to bed because i used it before dozing off.
i was pissed off!
Then, i came home to chiong for pharmaco. and i dont think ive ever chiong this much in my life before. It was a horrible nightmare, not being able to sleep nor rest when the brain is screaming for a break... for the next two days, i slept for 1-2 hours a day... spending only 10 mins of break for my 2 meals (i skipped breakfast). I was studying for the rest of every waking moment.
By last night, my brain was failing me. i was blanking out and i could not recall a single information. I could feel my brain screaming but i had to keep moving on.
it was a horrible torture... id inflicted upon myself. And i was sorry i did, because i knew that God didnt approve of it.
i slept at 11pm and woke up at 1am. continued pressing on... but every bit of information was reflected from my brain cells... like a miror (quoting celestine).
there was no way anything was getting in.
i took a bus to school... i was starting to feel it... that totally worn out feeling, and the state of confusion i was going into due to acidic build up in the brain. (like that time on sports day)
I was feeling nauseated from reading in the bus but i still forced-studied.
every now and then, my hand and body would fall limp as it held the notes as i was readin it. and my eyes would close shut while i forced it open.
everything that was happening around me in the bus seemed to be spinning. As i stood up to alight, i had to hold onto the pillars for fear of falling because i wasnt walking straight.
i was afraid id never make it to the exam theatres.
Mobility wise, i couldnt function properly, let alone outrightly utilising my brain for the exam. I could not recall anything. Everything that i was reading seemed foreign even thought id read it over and over again.
I cried and prayed so hard for God to help me because i couldnt do this alone. My brain was too exhausted and i was blanking out. I needed a miracle. I promised that id never ever do this again... ever. I wished id listened from the start and got proper rest and sleep. I listened to worship songs, finally stopping, 15 mins before the exam.
Eventually, i managed to do it. I didnt blank out thankfully.
If i had slept for 2 hours on Immuno day as id planned which was foiled, i dont think id have survived pharmaco exam. Immuno was only worth 2 MCs.
So thank God for everything who'd assured that all is well and that all He'd planned was for the better! i didnt believe it at first but now i do!
