hoopla! well guess what...amaths was a total failure for me and bio was horrible! i really feel as if im gona break down ne moment.. after amaths.. ive alredi been very downcast and mr yong's speech just made me worse.. i was called out of class together with some girls cos he wanted to ask us to be more careful and that we have just hit a-ones...i wanted to die.. esp durin bio i kept tellin myself i really wanted to diee i cant take all this nemore... i only slept for an hour yesterday! cos just rite at this critical point in time when i needed sufficient rest most.. my insomia acted.. i got positively mad..i actually had managed to sleep at 11.30 but woke up at 12.00 ..i wanted to wake up at 3.00am the next morning.. muji started cryin which woke me up.. i thot it was some problems with the doctor..her admirer or somethin... then i couldnt get bac to sleep.. i prayed to sleep but it neva worked... i got extremely depressed i started cryin cos i was so terribly helpless.. i couldnt do nething to make myself sleep.. but god gave me an assurance that he'll be with me throughout this exam.. but this time.. all of a sudden.. he wouldnt hear me.. so i started crying and got so mad at myself..i wanted to just run to the kitchen, grab a knife and just keep stabbing myself to just let all this sufferin end..at least i wouldnt be able to take the exam that way lol.. but after like an hour, i went to study but totally couldnt concentrate at all cos my body needed rest..then i broke down again..it was sheer torture it was like sitting through hell..i really wanted to just kill myself on the spot i really wanted to die.. i ran out of my room and daddy saw me..and i started crying to him... he walked with me bac to my room and told me not to think too much.. well..this time it was like 2.00am.. and then i finaly managed to sleep... i woke up at 3.30am and continued my revision.. but neway..my efforts hadnt been payed off... amaths was terrible.. bio was too... im gona fail..right then and there.. i just wished i could kill myself i didnt wana look at my marks..but im scared of pain.. lol.. i told god i didnt blame him..even though i actually did cos he didnt wana help me sleep... wateva it is.. he's got his reasons.. anyway.. muji spoke to me..she told me her reason why she was crying... cos she couldnt sleep as well! so im not the only funy person around here