Today is the worst day of my life.

The terrible adrenaline rush is perpetual. I am freaking.... freaking... nervous.

and i juz feel... freakin... dono what to say.

The sympathetic drive is soo overpowering that im suffering from the effects of the parasympathetic one... like diarrhoeaing forever.




"It takes a special breed of people to be courageous enough to step into the ring," Darren.

Win or lose... it doesnt matter now... the experience does. I'll never regret this moment.

i shall brace myself.

courage, stay calm, fight with your head, Dont give up, give the crowd a good one.

I am locked up in my home because the door is stuck.

It was the weighin in yesterday.. I'd won by the draw thanks to Zhiwei's lucky hands. I'm automatically in e finals so my fight will be in e afternoon. Luck is on my side!

this morning im supposed to help with the transportation of the ring to the competiton area. Since no five guys are free to help! Unfortunately... the situation at hand is that im locked in here.

mayb i shd fling my hair out of the window hoping that someone would climb up it and rescue me.



i needed a night to stop my emotions from clouding my judgment.. i juz want u to noe tht.. I love u.. very much...whatever happens.

I am

scared stiff

about whats to come this saturday.

Im glad to have my close friends with me for support.

okay going for weighing in. Ciao. xoxo

Hey Freshies dear people!

I've been so used to writing a blog post for the freshies on our orientation camp blog. I stayed up till 2 am last night to update it. If ur curious, here's the link: http://nurses-rocks.blogspot.com

there was a senior-junior meetup session where the seniors, US, interacted with freshies. I am so proud to announce that i am a senior. Took me a year to advance to this stage. Please applaud.

It was really fun! i can't wait for campN.U.R.S.E 2009 to happen! I'm excited to be an OGL with Pammy and Adora. mwahahha

I think ill need alot of chicken essence to keep me awake and stone-free.

I WILL ALWAYS STONE WHEN IM TIRED and its somethign that i cannot control!!!

After the meetup session and camp meeting, I spent a special evening with my man tou bun by the sea, under the starry night sky.

It was the most beautiful moment of my life. I am so in love with the pig whos also a monkey.. whos also a lil man tou bun =p <3 X infinity

MAJOR EVENT COMING THIS SATURDAY!!!!!

SMU sent a mass email to their studs to support their muay thai team. Why can't NUS do e same. ok juz jk... i dont want anyone to see me fall flat on e ground.

my muay thai comp this saturday! Im damn scared by the way. Just writing about it gives me that jittery feeling.

Pumpkin soup for lunch! yay! better pump up on carbos. Muji will be damn happy to see me fat.

No one can resist this... no one!

Haiz i feel so bad. I love Mel Fong! E hottie who always laughs at me!

Ytd was one of e best days ever... Id spent a day with dear Loraine where we had our long-awaited Suki-Sushi buffet. (only there for e sashimi... that and only that)
I bought myself a bottle of Versace perfume which smells like heaven... it smells even better at home! And the most beautiful umbrella in the world... lacy with gorgeous illustrations that takes u to another world with just a glance. We got her air tickets... drank bubble tea and looked for watches! which she could only find a suitable one after i left and OH MY how gorgeous it is. Even fie Japan... my most favourite stall on planet Earth sells it.

Anythng from fie Japan is the bomb.

In the evening, i made my way to muay thai grading. Entered a fighting gym, which was exploding with buff, sweaty and tattooed men.

Im scared about my fight. I really am quite.

YS got a bad sprain... I'm gonna bring along some delightful dishes to visit her today.. if shes not gone for her camp that is.

Sashimi buffet on two days within a week. What more can Shuffy ask for?

Sashimi buffet again nx mon. She is in paradise.

My bangkok trip is cancelled. No more shopping. if only mom would allow me to buy more clothes

I can't emphasize how much i love designing. It feeds my palate. Been a long time since I've done it.

And muay thai. And Friends who are leavin e country and some comin back.

I'm not thinkin straight im too tired.

All i want is to drown in a world of sashimi but tht dream is nv realized :(

HAHAHAAAA

today is one of e best days of my life!

the day i savour

FREEDOM! *says it the melvin way*

Was rushing through work in e morning... and listening to oldies and indie songs...

Then rushed to sch to hand in my assignment and meet the girls whom ive dearly missed for a longg longg time.

As always it was a cracky day... by cracky i mean we cracked up alot...

We saw Angie off for e last time... Jade too before they embark on their journeys to another world. A fateful evening.

And i saw Loraine! been a logn time since i last saw her! ive missed her so. Missed em all so much!

I'm gonna help e Ocommers out for the nursing camp.

Great! i loveee evrything about this holiday! even though its jus been a day. But its goin so well im in paradise.

Tmr.. i shall get lost in my world! before heading off for trg in e evening.

Finally... i feel life in me!

I'm gonna organise a northerners supper treat.

I HAVE CHOSEN DEATH
for sleeping 3 hours in e afternoon when my case study is half way done.

I've just noticed the intensity of my undone workload as i lunched away with Daddy and sis. It was a v special lunch.

The realization that i am actually, literally Free hasn't exactly hit me until today's afternoon.

Once this case study and lil bits of undone report is done... I am

Free.

Tmr Mon at 5 pm... i shall smile in jubilation.

Wow i can finally hang out with Arch, JO, Gerthrines finally gonna be back from London... Swimming with wispy and pinching her nose.... driving arnd with whoever offers supper treat...
Walk to my Ct's houseeee... Have another tracgers outing yayy...Stone at some cafe with a gorgeous book and writing a diary...my favourite!... etc. etc.

The list is giving me an adrenaline rush!

But before wondering to Liberty land... I must complete what i need to complete first.

WOO

And btw, I'm temporarily phoneless cos it spoilt along with the unread messages of yesterday.

i wish ud see it.

Clinicals have ended which is abit sad bcos i think i kinda enjoyed interacting with patients. When i retire one day i shall do community nursing which is alot like voluntary work... its one of e most meaningful things arnd. AND I WANT TO be a psychiatric nurse. I want to read people;s minds.

Sigh... im gona have to miss shopping with wispy and lestine tmr cos of case study. I hope ill be able to finish it on time!

the polyclinic experience was good... i mean its a totally diff experience altogether... ive learnt alot of stuff... tht is prolly not extremely relevant to nursing.

Humility is key. It goes a long way. =)

Its nice to know that u can be there to help these people in their trying times.

Nursing is awesome

and dont ever criticise my choice for this course.... ENOUGHHH of asking "why this course" with disdain.

Theres more to it than u can ever imagine.
and id never av chosen anything else for the world.

Months of hard work (including studying period) is about to end tmr.

Not really. I am going to fill my weekends with assignment writing before handing it in on Monday.

Im not done with chionging, sadly.

How will life be like after evrything ends? WOW i cant imagine how a break might be like after months of toiling. I really can't.

Good luck to me for presentation tmr.

I won't forget... pls don't forget...

hello grass
hello mat

sometimes i stare down at a grass mat and marvel at how meaningful it looks.

The tea leaves are gone.

-----
if u can decipher the above, you'd have solved the world's greatest mystery.

-----------

if anything... i feel embarassed. and i wish to apologize on ur behalf.

----- busy busy with nursing and muay thai. i think i prefer the hospital although its more stressful. oh wells at least i learn anyway.

I will never forget my experience in ttsh. it was e best experience on earth. Thanks to the most amazing preceptor and team.

luckily I'm immune to Hep B

nevermind .

:/

sometimes... sighz.. try...



sighz... just swallow it

Yesterday was the best day of my life!

It was the last day of workin in my acute-setting hospital. Thinking back on all that tough times... it was worth it. I was surprised that the ward staff.. even sister thought of us well. It was amazing having a personal evaluation with my ci and a sister, they have given me the confidence that i need to continue with this amazing journey as a nurse.

We bade our goodbyes to the staff with much love and hugs. I had to see my patients for e last time before we left. As i stepped into the cubicle for the very last time as their nurse, i felt a surge of emotions. I walked up to them and stroked their hands...

they may never have recognised me, never could see me, was never aware that they'd said thank you to me every morning, never knew that id been their nurse... But i feel blissed to know that I was given the priviledge to care for them in this trying time of their lives. Such is the honorable thing about the job as a nurse.

It was emotional as i stepped out of the cubicle to know that i could never reli be there for em as a nurse anymore. ...I pray that she'll be able to take it and stay strong for whats to come.

----------------------------------------

Muay thai at night after sleeping in the train for hours. It was on purpose that i took the long route.

It was fun but a lil scary.

We headed out for dinner with melvin and garrick, the two comic characters. Melvin's car is awesome!

WOW my work isn't over but ive packed my weekend with activities! my case study is going to suffer.

But I love the activities .. keeps me busy! This is exciting!

Siti spoke to me about self-definition. Yea baby yea!!!!

Sigh... What a terrific day!

JUST three more days before ill be out of ttsh!!!!

haiz.. theres still 3 more days.

Come Friday i shall celebrate =D

No more concussing on bed. No more drowsiness from exhaustion.

---before headin to another posting the following week. According to rachy baby, polyclinics are slack.

Goodbye my almost

Work again tmr!!! Thank God for one day of rest. and how lovely it was spent with the girls e in e morning. I am soo thankful for a one day of rest! The loveliest thing on earth.

It was lovely on sat... I love our team. For once, her eyes were opened... took my chance to hold and stroke her.... sigh. When we're young, everything seems like the end... wait till u step into the hospital... watch the world go by.

My patient kicked me in e face but i dodged in time. Thanks to a trained fast reflex from muay thai.

Next week will be the start of a crazy period! Daily Report writing for 6 patients!
I must be super vigilant!

Pls not too many hourly paras!!!! Oh pls no!

and my case assignment isnt done yet. so is third week's reflections and clinical summary.

CHIONG CHIONG CHIONG. One more week in TTSH! i can do this i can do this.

Mel Fong is the best person in the world!

Suddenly came to work with some books that youd bought specially for me... and its not even my birthday!

And the most touching card in the world. I almost cried reading it!

Thanks Mel Fong! =) ur v awesome =) I'll read e books and cont exploring. the card was wonderfully written! And am deeply touched. =)

Today is a sucky day.

Im having a ton of mixed emotions.

bcos something happened... and its getting to me. Of course i cant say it here bcos of confidentiality issues.

the stress, worryin abt muay thai.... the emotions.. its tiring sometimes btu ive gone through worse. So evrything will turn out fine!

Itz juz v draining sometimes. but all will be fine.

Nursing is v tiring.

Evrything will be ok.

haha yeap it wilL!

WOOTZ

SIS is coming back tmr!!! no more lonely nights! and shes got alot of stuff for me. And ill finally get to visit changi airport!! i love changi airport.

YS has juz came back from cambodia !!

Wee too from aussie!!!

The world is round again!

Im loving clinicals but my patients more! I LOVE all my patients and ill do my very best to care for em!

it was emotional to realize tht one of em was discharging today... i teared and hugged her.

HORROR

A catastrophe happened yesterday.

World war 3 broke out! (so says gertrine)

I broke an 8 year record of not having lost a phone.

It happened last night.

When it occured, I was in shock. At first i thought it was a dream, a nightmare that I'd wake up from. My pulse rate, RR and BP became abnormally high. I was giddy from dismay and disbelief.

I feel like the stupidest idiot on planet Earth! How could i be so stupidly trusting of people... and left my bag in the nurses' room together with the handphone (because we weren't provided with lockers). I didn't think they'd steal a fellow colleagues valuable. I was naive and gullible. And extremely upset. I AM depressed beyond anything. My phone was my everything.

Not surprisingly, my parents were furious. I may be phoneless for the rest of my life because I am not allowed to get another phone. Cheers to living life phoneless. *claps*
Not.

In fact, they wanted to blow the issue up by complaining to the director of TTSH and make a police report to investigate on the nurses in my ward. It was really quite terrible. Because in the first place... it was MY RESPONSIBILITY to bring my valuables along with me when im working (but its a lil hard cos i have alot of stuff in my pocket).

Honestly, if they were to do that they'd tarnish the name of the hospital and perhaps disrupt the work of the nurses when they are already stressed enough.

I begged them the whole night to not do it but Dad was insistent. IT WAS SOOO TERRIBLE! I ought to be grateful to the hospital for providing me with the oppoturnity to learn and yet I had caused trouble for them. I felt sooo terrible. Plus it was my burden to bear, not the ward nurses.

Thankfully, I begged Mom to dissaude Dad... and it worked.

My life has crumbled since last night's very fateful incident.

I am an idiot i am an idiot. I am extremely amazed with my stupidity. I cannot forgive myself for what happened. I am depressed. Good bye.

is that too much to ask

if u haven't already known, I've been spending my mornings in TTSH

for the first time, we started work proper and it was really cool! i dont think i've met such friendly staff in the previous attachment.

I think im starting to enjoy work. Theres tons of interesting stuff to see and learn.

I'll needa get the hang of infection control though... i can see why the emphasis.

OK i needa rush off. Sleeping alone tonight cos sis has disappeared to china! why is everyone leaving :(

officially missing you

The adorable one sleeps alongside me. Isn't it a baby?

-------------------

Attachment will officially start tomorow. And im kinda scared. It also marks the start of an extremely hectic one month and a week journey... what with training for muay thai competition as well.

Good luck to me. I'll need that badly

EXAMS ARE OVER

My family members are out there in the dining room. They are carrying out an investigating of the person who might be responsible for the presence of a golden cockroach in the study room. Me thinks it was daddy who constantly eats his fruits in the room.... A breach of mom's house rules.

then again.. some chocos in the room might have ignited that.. although they were wrapped up.
And i am responsible for that. Uh-oh.

Mom's gonna blast at me soon.
----------------

Its over?... wait.. hold on.. u mean "IT"?? are.. are we talkin abt e same thing?? OMG.. Its over?! MY exam is over?! I've finally completed sem 2 alive?!

When it finally ended the day before yesterday on 6th MAY 2009,

I was elated that some of my friends were still going out, contrary to the assumption that my friends were gonna elope with their boyfriends to Planet Zeus. The attached ones disappeared but the single friends were gona have fun! I got to spend an interesting evening with jade, angie, adora, Mel, rad!

How wonderful.. i was finally out of my cage.. free as a seagull... without a worry about the pile of work back on my study table. They are a but a load of papers with scrawled words to me now.

My gorgeous meal savoured at Manhattan's fish market.

No the result of this is not from my lousy camera skills.

I purposely gave it an artistic touch. Please applaud me for havin such an aesthetic nature.

Knowin what an amazing cameraman i am... Jade decided to follow my footsteps by takin over my role.

--------------------

On May 8th 09 after basic PPE course

My stomach was cut out to be used as an object for learning

My poor leg. Check out my last toe which is tied to my feet by a white polyester string.

At chicagoes's!

In the bus!

BY THE WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I bought the best dress in the world... which is light green in colour with gorgeous oriental prints!

Sounds mighty delicious?!?!?! I loveeee oriental prints.

And the best part is.. its only 15 dollars!

Damn why do i always get all e best deals heh

And the other amazing part about today is... SIS came home with the best invention in the world.... an ionic haircurler! That was originally 200 dollars but is now a 100. Sis is marvelling at her Vanessa Hudgens-like hair. E set includes a volumizer, and natural curler

And the other best part is...

i saw Zac efron on a big screen. he became at least 10 meters tall and a few meters wide. Giant Zac efron! An every girl's fantasy!

I cant believe how much i am in love with his gorgeous smile. Any guy would have easily turned gay from juz watching the show. Jun xiang u've missed out alot!!!

AND when is my paris dress arriving?! i cant wait to wear it but i am not looking forward to mom's nagging on splurging on another dress again. I feel guilty leh...

OK no more! no more new dresses for the next few months!

TMR!! yay spending saturday's morning with mom and muji for breakfast.

And clinicals have resumed. I'll be mighty busy next week onwards. Im not sure if i can cope... clinicals is v physically draining.. and trg at night after that will prolly kill me. Sigh.. i duno whether i shd take part in this comp this year. Lets juz see how it goes next week.

Stressed but happy

Can i just say that my boy is the best boyfriend in the world!!

I was utterly surprised when he appeared at my doorstep with Rive gauche cakes! I am utterly touched and yes boy... You've helped to ease the stress a little =)

Thank u my love! <3

... and im missing him already :(

I cannot emphasize how screwed I am.

I'll need a miracle. A great big miracle to complete my revision.

Necrosis of the skin

OMG!!! i cant believe this!!!

I've developed a saccral PRESSURE ULCER!!!

Just right there:

Ive finally solved the mystery as to how id gotten that strange wound on my back.

Okay i will not lean on e chair again.