life will neva be the same again..not after this..not after id found out about this..i dont even noe how ill face it nemore..i cant live life like normal like nothing eva happened..and i cant say it..i cant eva say it..i can tell no one..only sis..i dont even noe what will happen when mum knows bout this..i dont even wana think about it..it'l be horrendous..my life's gona be shattered..I dont know what to do nemore..i cant pretend..i cant..not after what ive found out
Im not blaming dad..i cry the whole night..
I blame myself..for not showing enuf care for him..blame myself tht ive neva reli showed him tht i love him..tht he'd resort to tht..it was somehow me contributing to it..
our family's no longer the same...not as we were in the past..when i was young..and dad had to go to england for his scholarship for a long period..mum cried..dad sent her a lovely postcard with 'I love you's...and we missed dad ..and dad missed us..we were his lil angels..we drew our family..sis and me...with scrawny colorpencils...and he loved it and pasted it on his wall in england..
But that's all in the past..now evrything;s wrong..i feel different..this family..
when suparti was still around..life was amazing..i could tell her almost evrything when i was upset..now i need someone..to cry to..but she's gone. She's the only one who truly cared..she'll cry with me..console me..and ill give her a hug...
I have to stop crying or my tears will run out.