i went to church today and relive the past experience in 2005.

Maybe im too used to talking to god solo-ly at home in my room on my bed that im just not used to listenining in church with other pple..i noe what they say is true and stuff..but i dont click with whats going on. Its like when evryone's singing and closing their eyes and touched and stuff..i mumble..
'right' in my brain.

when i noe ill do the same thing at home.

Looks like i cant find a church to fit into..bcos ive gone to like 5 and i cant get any msg except for my uncle's church which is too far away and the youths there are not as frenly as the other churches

And evrytime i come home from church..i feel reli sad and lost and i neva wana go to church again bcos of myself..i cant click with anything thats going on id rather spend time with god in my own free time at home

Church makes me distant myself from god...it alwayz does..and i feel horrible evrytime i get back it makes me think alot. I feel like such a failure evrytime i get home from a church.

I saw my primary two best fren there and thats pretty kewl!

im not sure if ill go back there again even though ive told lh i would..and even if i go back..it will be more like im dragging myself there


But i guess this means i shd stop going to church anymore. No more churches anymore. Id rather read christian books at home instead.