yawn

today was supposed to be a super hectic day. I woke up feeling Urgh-y..cos i noe tht i had to rush for chemistry..after which rush off so i could meet mom for lunch at novena Sqaure..after which..on to my doctor's appointment..and after which...COMPETITION!! held at night..or rather late evening

I ate at Ichiban Boshi ..a jap restaurant..(mind u i took quite an effort memorising the spelling) ..And i ate and munched and stuffed and knowin i was gona go for a comp tonight i still stuffed i didnt wana bother..

saw e doctor who's as nice and gentle as santa claus

and i realized i had the time to go home for an hour so i did and napped immediately i reached home and woke up and went to the comp immediately..

i was so glad to see ying there..Yinggg u were soo cool..i think without u i would have not known what to do then and stuff...ying accompanied me and guided me and stuff..Yingg ur da best!!! and she stayed all da way even after her race to support us. That was so great.

And i neva thot..i was sooo nervous..as alwayz..and i saw yating ageennnn...but she had a fren with her this time..also another schl..we're like competitors..and so i spoke to her fren since we were in the same heats...she's so cool..and this malay grrl who looked reli cool..she tried to smile at me a couple of times while i was talkin to yating's fren...I think we were all nervous and we just needed to know tht there are kind and gentle competitors out there as scared and nervous as we are..so evryone tries to be as nice as possible to one another..But unfortunately..i could only give a small smile cos i was alwayz doin some drills wheneva she tried smiling at me..she probably thot i was the nice sort when i spoke to yating's fren.

And believe it or not but i got third...i was leading until the last 200 m...when yating's fren cut ova..followed by another from river valley. (and i just found out tht coach pandian is their new coach..and i didnt even say hullo to him..can't blame me i reli wanted to..but he was alwayz surrounded with a bunch of river valley grrlz..i feel reli baddddd) and i tried to catch up for the last 100m..but okay..ive neva ran so close to the first competitor before but i did. And i got third

Dont be too happy for meee...cos tht was just heats

But i was happy for yating's fren from anderson sec... i mean i reli was..i think she did reli well

plus the lactic acid collected in my butt agen was overpowering

And next stop..another competition..4 by 100m

okay i was nervous cos i hadnt been trg with the team for a reli long time..or u could say..have neva trained with em..so i had no idea abt stepping and stuff..it was all last minute work..it ended with peihee telling me she's got faith in me before we got to our stand...they were pretty serious abt winning and i was part of the team..any mistake and ill drag e team down..
True enufff...i did sorta dragged the team down..i didnt noe what happened to me..i raised my hand even before she said 'Up" and actually didnt sprint off to start but ran slowly to wait for her...Gosh why was i so stupidd...and peihee was screaming RUN JUST RUN

and thts when i came to my senses and ran as fast as i could and i beat a cedar grrl...tht one i could clearly tell cos cedar was beside us...and after evrything..I shook hands with one cedar grrl and said ,' gd race'... she was happy abt tht. Their such nice pple

and i feel reli bad..on my way home i was just blaming myself..we got fourth but if it hadnt been for my foolishness i think we would have done much betta. They might say they neva blamed me...but its probably just a source of comfort.

But i went home quite satisfied..except for the 4 by 100m part...when things start going bad
i neva expected it..
Sis complained she's got fish bone stuck in her throat..which led to alot of issues...like mom worrying abt her being so paranoid...we all agreed she needs a psychiatrist cos its reli reli bad..its not like ur normal paranoia..her case is rather serious cos shes now suffering from stresss alot of it..and lotsa other stuff..she needs help..she wants it too. I myself dunt noe how to help her when she confides in me..
And thats when things started turnin ugly..Stuff happened..Dad got angry..and he threatened and ive neva seem him done tht eva my whole life..and sis and i tried to help..and i knew how fragile mom is no matter how much she tried to hide it when dad screamed at her..she screamed back..but i know very well..she would be crying silently to herself in bed..
I neva expected it..i hate it when they do this..itll take a reli long time before they'll talk to each other agen. Dont they eva think abt sis and i when they do this? i suffer in depression evrytime this happens..like nuffin could piece back my lovely life..i wanted to heal tht wound..but their stubborness would not make it happen.

And i gave sis a talk about God.. she told me stuff tht she neva told my parents when they wanted to hire a psychiatrist..i want to help sis..there's so much behind all this...why does God alwayz help and teach me and guide me..he neva fails to help me..Neva eva..but when it comes to sis..it doesnt happen..god neva reli help her much..okay this is more or less a sister to sister sorta secret so i cant say much.

I wish for evrything to be well agen. GDnite im sleepy beyond anything.